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HindustanTimes Wed,22 Oct 2014

How to search your soul mate through social media

Hindustan Times  New Delhi, October 13, 2012
First Published: 17:02 IST(13/10/2012) | Last Updated: 17:04 IST(13/10/2012)

Social daters and professional online dating coaches have given some advice on how to use social networking sites to find “The One.”

They start by pointing to the fact that you can increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your interests by. Social sites offer a place where people can meet each other by what they say about their passions.

“You get to know a lot about someone when they write a review, even without having to spend time with them,” the Huffington Post quoted one social dater who met her boyfriend on Yelp as saying.

The comments section of wesbites like Amazon.com, YouTube, Goodreads, Google+, Pinterest or any place where people hang out online can be used to find romance.

Including some personal details in your profile offers an instant icebreaker, so don’t leave it blank and don’t shy away from mentioning that you’re single.

According to online dating coach Julie Spira, “Nothing is more powerful than the Facebook relationship status.”

Expand your social circle through social media sites. Whereas stalking people you’ve never met is frowned upon on Facebook, buddying up to strangers won’t get you any weird looks on the likes of Twitter, Instagram or even Yelp. And those strangers can set you up.

“Twitter for me was like having another group of friends who could set me up with people,” Christina Coster, who met her boyfriend on the micro-blogging site, said.

An easy way to go about this on Twitter would be by first fostering a fresh group of friends by following people who share your interests, along with the people they follow or mention in their tweets.

It could be something even simpler that helps break the ice - one person’s now-boyfriend started tweeting with her because he thought her profile picture was cute.

Engage with the people you follow by name dropping them in your tweets with “@ mentions,” re-tweeting interesting things you see them post and, when the time is right, sending them private direct messages. Or you could just invite yourself along to whatever they’re doing.

“Once it’s out on Twitter it’s kind of open game for people to say, ‘Oh, you’re getting drinks after I work? Mind if I join you?’” Coster said.

The same holds true for other social sites. Whatever website you’re on, people notice when others take a shine to what they’re sharing. Use your interest in what they’re saying as an “in”.

Once you’ve made initial contact and things get even slightly more personal, move the conversation to a private place.

On Facebook, it might mean messaging instead of public wall posts. On Instagram, chatting on a private messaging app like Kik instead of commenting on photos – there’s also good old email, Gmail chat, Skype and AOL Instant Messenger.

“The most important part of online dating, whether it’s traditional online dating or not, is getting offline,” Laurie Davis, a dating coach and founder of eFlirt Expert, said.

Successful social daters also recommend reviewing what someone has shared on the social network to be sure his or her story isn’t riddled with inconsistencies.

The public nature of most social sites ensures that you can check up on other people someone has been flirting with and what sort of tales they've been telling – and no matter what site you're using, don't trust the photos.


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