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HindustanTimes Sun,21 Sep 2014

'I get on with life quickly'

Prema K (HT Cafe), Hindustan Times  Mumbai, April 07, 2007
First Published: 14:02 IST(7/4/2007) | Last Updated: 11:17 IST(22/8/2013)

He was married to Shefali Chaya (now Shah). They divorced after four years. Actor Harsh Chaya talks to Prema K about finding love again.

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The initial moorings I don’t know if men take longer to come out of a relationship. It maybe true but I’m the kind who likes to get on with life quickly.

I went through a bad phase in a very clinical way without even trying to pretend that everything was fine. After feeling bad and gathering enough sympathy for myself, I finally got out of it in six months.

I still look back at it very pragmatically..two people met, fell in love, got married and parted ways. One couldn’t do anything about it. I felt it was better to separate than live a life where you don’t know where your marriage is going.

It hurt The separation didn’t take me by surprise. I had seen it coming for almost eight months.

In fact, I’d talked about it with a close friend of mine. So the two of us were sitting back and waiting for it to happen.

Divorces don’t have to be bitter but mine was. I don’t even want to pretend that we’re friends today. Both of us are definitely not interested in that. I avoid running into her and if we ever come face to face in public, I’d simply look through her. Our marriage is like a chapter in our lives that’s closed forever.

To love again Once bitten twice shy — some men take this a little too seriously. I don’t believe in it. I’ll never give up on life or even hate the world of women. I think they are beautiful.

I met Sunita a year after my first marriage fell apart. It was a case of — I like her, let’s do something about it (laughs). And it took me about a year to make my way into her heart. I wasn’t sure if she liked me and I didn’t want to give her the impression that I was hitting on her. But I’m sure it was a case of mutual attraction .. otherwise she wouldn’t have responded to my subtle advances.

Sharing .. caring  Ideally, one should share everything with a spouse but that doesn’t always happen. There are some things that you tend to hide. It’s okay to keep some part of your life to yourself. But if you are in a new relationship and are planning to settle down, then it’s always better to speak your heart, even if it hurts.

At least, I’ve been doing that. I’ve always believed in transparency in a relationship. It’s no point living in a Mills and Boon kind of world. That leads to problems.

Making it work I still don’t know what went wrong with my first marriage. Even when we decided to part ways, I thought everything was perfect. But something must have been seriously wrong. I’m sure I did a lot of things that weren’t right. It was for her to tell me but that never happened. We never spoke about it.

I have human shortcomings. I can be very outspoken, very impatient and rude. I’m working on that. It’s too early for me to say that it’s worked because my second marriage is only four years old. Maybe another ten years into the same marriage and it’ll be a different story.

   E-mail author: prema.kodical@hindustantimes.com


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