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HindustanTimes Sat,27 Dec 2014

In love? Never give up on these 5 things

Divya Makhija, Hindustan Times   June 17, 2014
First Published: 17:38 IST(17/6/2014) | Last Updated: 17:45 IST(17/6/2014)

Compromise, conventional wisdom says, is the key to a happy relationship. But then, it's not the Gospel truth: there is a world of difference between 'compromising in a relationship' and 'compromising for a relationship'. Yes, we know what you are saying: when it comes to love, it's a very thin line that you tread.

Worry not, here's help at hand. We give you five things that are sacrosanct in any relationship. Never compromise on these, no matter what the fate of your relationship is.

1 YOUR SELF-RESPECT
The most important of them all! Normally, in a relationship, you don't mind crossing a few boundaries which you won't otherwise. But don't let that become a habit for your partner. If you allow yourself to be treated like a… piece of dirt… it is nobody's but your fault. Think your partner's already dong that to you? Raise the red flag immediately. Never give up your right to be treated with respect… and more respect.
Your move: Put your foot down, literally, and don't mince your words. Beating around the bush won't help either of you. Stand up for your rights, and lay the ground rules right in the beginning. Always keep in mind that there are no exceptions to this rule.
 
 EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS
Good friends are hard to find, and if you are blessed with a few wonderful and loyal buddies, never give them up just because your partner cannot get along with them. Never give-in to demands of giving up your friends, period! Letting go of your friends to keep your partner happy is no sign of your loyalty… to anybody. Somebody trying to isolate you from your friends, stop and take stock of the situation.
Your move: Reason it out with your partner and let them know how important they are to you. The key here is to make your partner know that he/she tops your priority list, but at the same time, that the friends too come a close second. You need to make your partner feel secure and the best way to do it is by flaunting your relationship in front of your friends. A healthy relationship allows friends to co-exist happily. Take it as a warning sign if your partner tries to isolate you from your friends and family.

3   YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS
Being in a relationship need not mean that you forego the dreams and aspirations you've been nurturing all these years. On the contrary, your partner should encourage you to continue on the course and never flinch. Let go of your bigger plans in life because somebody doesn't want you to is a sure recipe for disaster and disillusionment later in life.
Your move:  Let your partner know how important it is for you to reach your goal. It could be anything, from your career to your bank balance to anything that you hold close to your heart. Don't undermine its importance in your life, and make sure your partner knows it. One way to do it is by encouraging your partner to continue to pursue their dreams. Respect theirs and they'll respect yours.

4  YOUR RIGHT TO BE YOU
Never give up your personality traits for the sake of your relationship. That's what makes you who you are, and that's what your partner fell for. Yes, you need to change a little, to accommodate your partner's expectations from you. But that doesn't mean you let go of your essential personality. Remember, those who truly love you, will adore the real you… even with all your imperfections.
Your move: Make your partner mingle with your gang of friends and let them know how happy you are every time you meet them. Be yourself (without, of course, being corny), and make an extra effort to include your partner too in the gang. 

5   YOUR INDEPENDENCE
You should never compromise your independence for the one you love. Don't put the keys to your growth and happiness in someone else's pocket. You simply can't live your entire life through someone else's wish. You must enjoy the space to do what you want to do. Listen to your loved ones, but don't lose track of your inner voice in the process.
Your move: Take charge of situations, however sticky, and sort things out. If you show your intent, and take the initiative, you know that your partner will respect you more.


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