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HindustanTimes Fri,26 Dec 2014

That achy breaky feeling: here's how to survive a break-up

Meghna Chadha, Hindustan Times  New Delhi, July 12, 2014
First Published: 15:58 IST(12/7/2014) | Last Updated: 16:28 IST(12/7/2014)

"Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard" -Dave Mustaine

It's like being caught between the devil and the deep sea. Persist with a relationship that sucks the life out of you or live through a break-up that... again, sucks the life out of you? Whatever your cost-benefit analysis, rest assured that if letting go of a relationship looks like the best option for you, do it before it is too late. Because the longer you linger with it, the more it will hurt you.

Stuck with such a relationship? We give you a few elementary level solutions that will help ease the pain.

1 Cry: surrender yourself to sadness for a while

Never mind those who say crying is wrong. It is okay to grieve for a while to let out the pain and agony. Keeping it all bottled-up inside you, and sulking, is even more dangerous, and makes recovery emotionally sapping. Here's what you do: cry, grieve and tell yourself for a week or ten days that your world has come crashing down. Don't fight the 'why-me' feeling. But once you're done with the self-pity phase of your life, get up and get going and never look back.

Read: 5 ways to get them to break-up with you

2 Avoid gut feeling
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This one is pretty common after breakups: blaming yourself for what life has come to... It is also a very vulnerable state to be in: you don't need much of a reason to go back to your ex while in this state of mind. Just remember to  keep drilling into your mind that you were honest to the relationship while it lasted and gave it all that you had to make it work. Bring in self-respect here and you can fight the temptation of getting in touch with your ex for that one last effort to make things work out. Your gut feeling is strongly conditioned by the state of mind you are in, and don't let it guide you. Perhaps it'd help to tell yourself that you deserved something (even someone) better in life. Get up, Get sorted and get going..!!

3 Rediscover yourself
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This is the best time to give yourself the much-awaited “my time”. Focus on yourself and bring out the best in you. Go out with friends, pamper yourself, party hard... basically do everything that makes you happy . Get out of your shell. There is much more in life than to sulk and sob about a breakup.

4 Indulge
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Take up a hobby, go to the gym and don’t give yourself any idle time. Because then you'd go back to that regressive 'thinking mode' and invariably it boils down to one thing: let me try one last time to make the relationship work. 

Watch movies, go shopping, do whatever that makes you feel better. Please don't use alcohol as a crutch (seriously, this is drama in real life, and not some film plot). Give a new dimension to your life to focus on "yourself" and not your ex.

5 Write

Yes, it may seem stupid and absolute rubbish to most of you, but no less useful and effective. Once you start writing about whatever you feel, you'd would definitely move a step closer in moving on from this breakup. Writing will actually help you let it out and it’s far better than listening to heartbreaking songs and reading your ex’s old messages and remember those happy times because it’s not there anymore. The sooner you accept it and work towards moving on from this, the better and easier it is going to be. Be pragmatic and it will be much more easier than being an emotional fool.


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