The untold myths of Bal Narendra

  • Manas Chakravarty
  • |
  • Updated: Apr 05, 2014 22:45 IST

Once upon a time, Bal narendra was doing Narendra Leela by eating mud. When His Mum scolded Him, He opened his mouth to show, not mud, but the whole universe.

‘Bal Narendra’ comic book shows ‘fearless’ young Narendra Modi saving drowning boy, taking on crocodiles, bullies:, March 27, 2014

Here are some untold stories of Bal Narendra not included in the comic book:

Story 1
When He was born in those far-off days, there came Three Wise Men from the East to his dwelling and asked: “Where is Bal Narendra? We saw a shooting star over this joint and have travelled many miles to see Him, for He is a Great Guy.” To which the good people replied, “You must pay cash, for there is an entry fee.” And that was how the practice of charging to hear Him speak started.

The Three Wise Men unwrapped gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh, but His kinfolk said the gold was fine, but they would prefer cash instead of the other stuff. The Wise Men then entered the chamber in which He lay, kicking his legs. One by one, they knelt and kissed the hem of his Nappy and He said, “Waaaah”.

Thus blessed, the Three Wise Men went back to their native places, where they were branded crony capitalists, for it was said they had paid the cash for higher gas prices when He came to power.

Story 2
Bal Narendra often indulged in Narendra Leela. Once, he wanted to steal the clothes of the gopis bathing in the village pond. But the sex ratio in His village was skewed, because of female infanticide. He reasoned that females were a minority and needed His protection and it would not be the done thing to steal their clothes. Accordingly, he swiped instead the clothes of Bal Amit Shah and Bal Keshubhai while they were bathing. But the crowd that had gathered to watch were sorely disappointed and chanted, “Agli baar, Kameez Shalwar.”

Story 3
Once upon a time, He was doing Narendra Leela by eating mud. When His Mum scolded Him, He opened his mouth to show, not mud, but the whole universe. His Mum was stricken with wonder and awe. But the masses clapped loudly and asked Bal Narendra to do it again. He told them of the 3 Ms — Mud 2 Mouth 2 Mandala — but all they wanted to know was whether He would charge them for doing the trick at their birthday parties.

Story 4
It came to pass that Bal Narendra liked scrapping. And one day when He was scrapping, the following conversation ensued:

People: How canst Thou fight friends like Bal Lal Krishna, Bal Jaswant, Bal Sushma et al.

Bal Narendra: Because an inner voice tells me to follow…ummm….Sharma.

People: But Bal Anand Sharma is of the Congress.

Bal Narendra: Mayhap it be Verma.

People: But Beni Prasad Verma is a pseudo-secularist.

Bal Narendra: Oh. Ah yes, I follow my karma…

People: But Mahendra Karma was of the Congress.

Bal Narendra: Ummm….errr…could it be dharma then?

People: Yup, Thou must follow Thy Dharma.

And they chanted, “Ab ki baar, Total War.”

These stories have affected people in different ways. Some say it is not Bal Narendra, but Bal-lyhoo. Rajnath Singh laments that instead of stories of Bal-Rajnath, they call him Bal-dy. Others say it is Bal-derdash. As for me, frankly, I think it’s all Bal-oney..

Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint
The views expressed by the author are personal


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