Nepal, the country India likes to think of as that overeager little kid on the playground who just refuses to take a hint, is full of annoyed Nepalis.
Why are they annoyed, we hear you ask. Well, it’s mostly because of you. And your questions. Not to mention your cocky observations. And let’s not forget momos. Never forget momos.
Everyone is oddly puzzled by the ethnicity of Nepal, which is weird because usually when someone is confused, casual racism is the last thing one would expect to come out of their mouths. But alas, Nepalis have to deal with that virtually every day. From friends and their families to random strangers on the streets who you’ve never met before, from your accountant and his mother to the bulky Salman Khan fan from UP, everyone has a ‘funny’ thing to say about Nepalis.
And now we’re mad as hell and we just can’t take it anymore. So we decided to make a list of all the nasty things we hear as a cathartic exercise.
1. Bahadur Singh Thapa!
Listen up, you guys. Not all Nepali men are overly fond of guarding your garish South Delhi bungalows. And not all Nepali women have a soft corner for filing the nails of entitled housewives.
2. OOOOO Shabji!
Ha Ha. It wasn’t funny the first time.
3. Do you know Karate?
No, I don’t. But I know who I’d use it on if I did.
4. Well of course you like momos. You are Nepali.
Well, you got me there because I really do love me some nice momos. But I also like other food. And I’m pretty sure you like momos too. Wait, are you Nepali?
5. I wish I had straight hair like you.
And once you learn that Nepalis also have curly, frizzy and wavy hair you’d wish you had that too.
6. You all look the same.
I know you really want to call me ‘ch*nky’ but you got cold feet at the last second because they’re arresting people for that now.
7. You don’t even look Nepali.
You meant to call me ‘ch*nky’ again but like the last time, you wussed out.
8. Nepali girls always hit on my boyfriend.
No, we don’t really like his taste in women.
9. Do you live in the mountains? It must be freezing there.
Yes! I do! It’s called Mount Everest and it’s like totally awesome girrrrl.
10. Do you watch cricket? Whose side are you on?
This guy. LOL!
11. Are you all undocumented?
Yes, and we’re all mountain dwelling, momo loving, straight haired, sex maniacs/martial artists/watchmen called Bahadur.