Mother’s Day is celebrated on second Sunday of every May is no longer just another day, but an occasion to share with your mother, how special she is. So in that vein, we speak to some celebs who share some anecdotes about the relationship they share with their mothers and children.
Everything I’m today, everything I value and hold dear to me, the way I think and the personality, confidence, fearlessness and freedom to follow my dreams that I have is all that my mother has given me. My mother has been a very big role model in my life because in her life there was no dichotomy between her career and family. She is my strongest support. If I have done something wrong, she also chides me but fundamentally she’s always there for me.
My most abiding memory of her is related to her smile, which has the power to make everything okay. I remember it was during my Bharatanatyam arangetram when I had performed very badly in the first half. When guruji was pointing out where all I went wrong, I was trembling with nervousness. Suddenly my mother came to me with her radiant smile. After that I just breezed through my second half. Her smile has the power to change everything into positive... I still believe.
Our relationship is obviously of mutual love and caring, but what I have learnt form her is that Swara tries to live her life according to the values she believes in and I’m very proud of that. I have learnt from her ability to go out into the world and struggle and fight for what she believes in. For me it’s a sort of learning to continue to struggle and believe in what you want to do. She doesn’t remember, but when she was 10 and I was in New York for my PhD, she fell sick. My husband didn’t tell me, but I got to know from my son that she’s got high fever and I called her to say don’t worry I’ll return. She, instead, scolded me and said ‘Don’t be silly! You want to leave everything and come back because I’m ill? I’ll be okay, it’s just fever. I’m very proud that you are there. Just finish your work and then come. You don’t want me to have a mother who doesn’t finish her work that she sets out to do.’ Imagine a little girl giving me that scolding and I was crying trying to keep her faith in me.
She’ll first always be mom. As you grow older, sometimes the roles are reversed and I feel she’s the child but we also work together. Ours is a multi-layered relationship. She’s been liberal and independent and that’s what I have learnt from her. She’s always guided us but never imposed anything on us. She’s been a friend and mentor and at the same time a disciplinarian. In the theatre she’s mostly a director and a rigorous one but once in the car she used to be mom again. My father, who we lost two years back, was the softer one and my mother was the tougher one. I was always terrified of my mother when I was a kid. After years of being tough she said, ‘you are my daughter and I know I have to push you.’ I have learnt from her to be honest, and I absolutely love her joie de vivre.
Amaan Ali Bangash
Mothers are our first gurus in our life. My mother is my best friend. I share most of my thoughts with her and she has always pushed me to achieve my goals and has been a supportive factor when I had issues regarding certain things which my father didn’t understand. If I have a problem, there’s a button called mother! My mother always says that in life it’s important to be a good musician but what’s more important to be a good human being. She always said enjoy life but make sure you don’t waste time, respect elders and forgive people and move on. She taught me that love people so much that some day even your enemies respect you.
Ayaan Ali Bangash
She’s a super mom who I look up to, admire and the very cause of my existence. Being an artist – she was a Bharatanatyam dancer – giving up all by choice to groom two musicians, today she feels she performs through my brother and me. She’s the spine of our family, and is an inspiration to so many artists wives. The most important thing that I have learnt form her is to not to give up, have faith when I fall and to smile again after you cry and look forward to that ray of hope ahead.
I feel in today’s modern world, I would have been cut off, had it not been for my son. Both are caring and have got very different ways of their life and dynamics – when you have one person playing on stage and the other person – you take the best of both and enjoy the performance. Ayaan helps me look after concert details, emails, and Amaan is a one-liner who is into other practical aspects of life.
My mother and I have a very friendly relationship. We like spending time with each other. Especially now that I’m married I like to spend whatever time I can with them. We have an open relationship and love to go shopping together, for jewellery and clothes. As a woman we can have a career and a family and both are equally important. And to have both we need to push ourselves. Whenever it gets hard, I think of my mothers and how they have managed to balance their lives beautifully.
For me, it’s like they are my idols and sort of like a guideline that I followed when I was growing up. They have been my foundation and I’m very thankful for that. I have learnt from them to be very hardworking, nothing comes easy. They both believe in hard work and luck and that’s what I have learnt from them to do your best and then leave it to God.
My daughters are the one who insist that I dress up. I wait for one year for Mother’s Day. Unke haath ka khana khane mein maza aata hai. They cook well. They bake vegetable and fish and make chicken dishes and noodles, which tastes amazing, after I get bored the entire year eating South Indian food.
My daughters have taught me to not to be a loud mom. When with my friends, I was so bindaas earlier that I used to just speak from my heart; they told me you cannot talk like that, be careful and think before you speak. I was brought up in my husband’s house, who was my guardian, so I had to never watch my words before speaking. I got married in the same family and never changed my place. I didn’t realise when I was hurting people.
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