Main Aur Mrs Khanna
Cast: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Sohail Khan
Direction: Prem Soni
Rating: H & 1/2
It’s a weird marriage. Which isn’t to suggest there’s such a thing as marriage that isn’t, in some measures, weird. But this one’s particularly so.
The husband’s lost his job. He sits for six interviews a day. The wife waits tables, but she’s happy and cares. He is unhappy, but cares. But for a financial worry that they can tide over, they seem a couple for sure. If there is a wife-harasser behind the hero’s droopy eyes, we’re not told. I wish. It would make for a screenplay.
Anyway, he gets her to the airport, and hands her a boarding card back home, while he flies off someplace else. They could’ve talked this over at their apartment. She spends months at the airport after.
Melbourne (that’s probably offered Indian filmmakers a racism-sympathy discount for this shoot) could’ve offered life outside a jewellery store at a departure terminal. But then, such is love. She waits.
She meets another man at the airport (Sohail Khan), who shamelessly hits on her throughout. It’s evident he doesn’t stand a chance. There is no conflict still. Her fidelity or devotion is never in doubt. Yet, she decides to register a fake marriage with this bloke for Australian citizenship (do Indians fancy that anymore?). She doesn’t let her husband in on it.
The screen is softly lit with no material to take a story forward. We carry on nevertheless. The filmmakers fill in the blanks staring at us with songs. One’s a classic in its original form: RD Burman’s Bade Acchhe Lagte Hain (Balika Vadhu).
The second is pretty much picked up from Shankar Ehsaan Loy’s Ya Rabba (Salaam-e-Ishq). The third is a mix-n-match between Pretty Woman (Kal Ho Naa Ho), and Vishal-Shekhar’s Kiss Of Love (Jhoom Barabar Jhoom). The fourth is inspired from Anu Malik’s qawali-fusion Tumse Milke Dil (Main Hoon Naa). The fifth…
Salman Khan plays Khanna; Kareena Kapoor is the wife, picked up from an orphanage. The last time the two did a Diwali gig together was in 2005, a brain-fry called Kyonki (Because). You could ask that ‘why’ again.