Kya Love Story Hai
Cast: Tusshar Kapoor, Ayesha Takia, Kareena Kapoor(special appearance)
Direction: Lovely Singh
Chalo Cape Town – if you want a meet a colony of Indian clowns. Two of them chase girls – including grannies and nannies --crack jokes which went out with the chaddis and naadas of Shakti Kapoor and generally behave like langoors.
These two jokers are not the only infuriating aspect about Kya Love Story Hai directed by one Lovely Singh. No zing. Everything from the plot and the characterisations to repetitive shots of South African white villas and baked beaches is more boring than watching paint peel on the ceiling. Really, this jab at a triangular romance leaves you with a Titanically sinking feeling. Oof.
Okay, to bolster up the capsizing project, Kareena Kapoor sportingly shows up in the first reel. She breaks into a disco item and does it very well, indeed, except when the editing goes in for cuts, flashes, bleaches and freezes for no rational reason. Treason. After that glam-blam-thank-you-ma’am number, be prepared for slumber. Snore.
Unless of course, you’re woken up and time and again by a walking talking tree (Wooden Tusshar Kapoor), who is always accompanied by those Shakti Kapoor Jr buddies. The trouble is that he’s much too fuddy duddy. They advise him to go fall in love before he sheds too many leaves and branches..and whaddya know?..Mr Tree actually does.
Actually, that always happens when a rosy young woman (Ayesha Takia) walks towards any man in slow motion. Fantastic. Now, Tree adores Rose but has this deep-rooted problem, he can’t tell her about his ishq-vishq-frisk. Lightning, thunder and blunder.
Enters another man (newcomer Karan Huku, striking screen presence). He wears a thousand expensive suits-`n’-boots, proposes marriage to the gulab. And soon this Suitboot’s mataji is drawing up an exclusive guest list. How topical! It is the season of weddings, isn’t it?
Trouble: Rose eventually must choose between Mr Tree who is very rich and Mr Suited Booted who’s very very rich. Not much of a conflict really. Except the one in your bheja when it’s stirred into watching reels and reels of footage of Tusshar Kapoor rushing to the sea side whenever he’s depressed which is all the time. He keeps staring, staring and staring at water waves, rocks and boats. In fact, he breaks the Guinness Book of Records for gaping glumly at oceanic vistas. Surely, the usual Devdasian whisky bottle would have been less time consuming.
Next: Tree’s rival in love shatters the record of speaking on the cell phone, and that too with blonde secretaries posing in front of various nation’s flags (very UNESCO touch this). As for Rose Kumari, she smiles, cries, smiles, cries and admits that she’s extremely CONFUSED. Ms Takia’s smile is to die for -- but in these days of rising inflation, not sufficient value for the price of a ‘plex ticket. Incidentally, more ushers were watching the show than the paying public.
At the end, you leave with a headful of clichés, undistinguished performances, vulgar jokes a la David Dhawan (Mr Lovely Singh once assisted him), a pair of utterly talentless comics and a fairly bouncy music score by Preetam which has been ruined by dull choreography and cutting.
A line of dialogue says, “Every place looks so good when the lights are on.” True, that’s exactly how you feel when this Kyaaaa! Yeh Love Story Hai? ends and the house lights came on. Relief.