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REVIEW: Life Mein Kabhie Kabhie

The plot of the film limps and limps..though till the intermission you had this faint hope that it would pick up tempo, writes Khalid Mohamed.

movie reviews Updated: Apr 13, 2007 21:14 IST

Life Mein Kabhie Kabhie

Cast: Aftab Shivdasani (everready grin), Dino Morea (teak), Nauheed Cyrusi (sweetish)
Direction: Vikram Bhatt
Rating: **

Ear, ear. "Happiness," a dude decrees, "is nothing but the absence of sadness." Now that sounds straight out of an Osho or Deepak Chopra pamphlet. What a mental cutlet.

Anyway,

Life Mein Kabhie Kabhie
, directed by the one-man-bakery Vikram Bhatt, is such an ordeal that you want to run out, tearing your hair,shouting to all who care to listen, "No, no,
Is Life Mein Kabhie Nahin
." A 16-reel invitation to a serious headache, this.

Sincerely, why is the once-sufficiently-gifted director subjecting you to punishment in the name of entertainment? Bhatt, at this point, needs to smell the coffee..sharbat..whatever..just do it.

Okay, so he’s trying something complex but expectedly unoriginal this time around. Five friends, after a night of pubbing, collect Rs 200 between them. No, no, that’s not a refund for your ticket money. It seems that the enormous sum will go to whoever makes it `biggest’ after five years, even though what you watch is like 500. Resemblances to those American

dostana
movies like
The Big Chill
,
Diner
and
St Elmo’s Fire
are as obvious as the sun setting in the west. If Sanjay Gupta is the Mr Universe of DVD pageants, Bhatt is its Mr World surely. Wonderful.

Okay, so of the quintet Aftab Shivdasani, a freelance journalist comes out best (there’s hope for scribes, yahoo) with a tale-all book which wins him some kind of Lolita Kala Akademi Award. Never mind, if he’s had to survive all kinds of indignities, like being called a "

chhokra
boy" by a socialite who looks as if she lives in a hutment colony.

By the way, Chhokra is fired from his reporter’s job by an editor who chomps potato crisps till his jaws sound like the rock music of Led Zeppelin. Man, the things movies do.

Then Dino Morea bribes politicians, beds a woman who grumbles, "Why do you come to be only when you rumble?" and generally drives his purse-lipped brother, Mohnish Behl, insane. Such pain. Sameer Dattani joins up with MLA Yashpal Sharma from Prakash Jha’s constituency and soon drinks Johnnie straight out of the bottle. Hubble bubble, he also grows a Jha-style stubble. Truly, what’s happening.

Meanwhile Nauhadi Cyrusi become Heroine No. 1 even though she doesn’t do any Bashu Vaghnani movies. Best of all, a Permanent Smile (Anjorie) marries Raj Zutshi (the new Sex Symbol in town), a gazillionaire who only wears two suits..and they argue in a hall with so many chandeliers, bulbs and lamps that you want to apprise them about power cuts immediately.

The plot limps and limps..though till the intermission you had this faint hope that it would pick up tempo. Honestly, you don’t want to know more about the quality of the undistinguished performances, the jangle bells music score, the lack of editing finesse or the reason why every character – short or tall, plump or thin – cries buckets, bath tubs and barrels.

PS

: Life Mein
.., has this detailed scene stating that movie reviewers are know-nothings.. oh well, Mr Bhatt, but when it comes to another scene indicating favourable reviews, everyone starts dancing. Strange.