Cast: Kay Kay Menon, Jimmy Sheirgill, Women about to be Killed
Director: Aanand Rai Hitchcock
Hello, Alfred Hitchcock sir, hello. Can you hear me up their in your heavenly abode? I have to unburden on you a secret load. Sir, sir, shhhhh, out here they have taken your superb Strangers on a Train and made it into just Strangers. Very strange, no?
I know you’re busy chilling. But I have to remind you. Back in 1951, you had set up a chance meeting between Farley Granger and Robert Walker in a rail-gaadi. Then they worked towards a wife’s barbaadi. All in black-and-white! I believe my grandpa stayed awake all night with fright.
Boss, it was a big time classic. Now, there is this meeting between Kay Kay Menon and Jimmy Sheirgill, as unlike as chalk and cheeslings, in an English train. Both scratch each other’s brain. Pain. <b1>
Hitchcockji, then you know what? Menon and Sheirgill discover that they don’t like wives (their own that is). Who does, huh? Menon, a super corporate type, is saddled with Sonali Kulkarni who’s bheja-dry or neuoritc, or both. And sweet Sheirgill, a writer whose career has been more disastrous than Saawariya, suspects that his Mrs, Nandana Sen, is having gazillions of flings. Their marriage is more breakable than vases Ming.
Boss, life’s complicated truly. Since England doesn’t have supari killings (touchwood, touchoak, touch Abraham). And since they’re just in a mood to fill in pages of a screenplay, Menon agrees to kill Nandana. And Sheirgill is scheduled to strangle, or whatever, Sonali K. You kill-mine-I’ll-kill-yours is the deal. Sire, I thought such games went out with ring-a-ring-a-roses.
To my credit, patience and infinite devotion to you Hitchcock lord of mine, I stayed on so I could report the proceedings to you. I’m your biggest fan in the world (one Ananth Mahadevan did Dial Emraan Hasmi for Murder). But sir, who’s he? Out, out. I’m the most devoted Hitch bhakt.
Then sir, Menon and Sheirgill do absurd and abrupt stuff like Smriti Z Iraani and Alok Nath do in the TV serials. Must send you a DVD or two of Saas Bhi Kabhi Psycho Thi, boss.
But you don’t worry, sir. I’ll wrap up now by just informing you that both Menon and Sheirgill are first-rate actors. They need your constant blessings and support. Could you recommend them to Hollywood please? Or to Mira Mehta? Deepa Nair? Anyone, please. Sen I will not say anything about. Kulkarni shouldn’t sit or stand in bath-tubs.
And oh yes, Manoj Gupta’s photography was cool. The editor could have stepped on the gas though.
Finally, do excuse Strangers by hamara Aanand (he spells it like that). And sir, sorry for taking up your time and attention. That sentiment I would like to share with the readers too. Take care, always boss. Love.