Anger of love
Are you given to bouts of anger at times? Don't worry, you are normal; and in fact that could be a good trait. Psychologists tell us anger is a quality that need not be always negative. You get angry with your loved ones because you love them.mumbai Updated: Oct 14, 2010 03:09 IST
Are you given to bouts of anger at times? Don't worry, you are normal; and in fact that could be a good trait. Psychologists tell us anger is a quality that need not be always negative. You get angry with your loved ones because you love them.
You love them so much that you deviate from your normal self and become aggressive just to show your concern over what they have done or what they are going to do, which you think is wrong.
Even the Dalai Lama, all smiles and charming, says, to be angry is to be normal; and he admits that he too gets angry at times.
Of course, one is aware of the anger of hate. This is downright negative and the basis of all the conflicts in any society, or between communities and nations.
While the former type of anger (let me call it ‘lovanger’) is directed to reform/correct a wrongdoing or misbehaving person, the later (let us call it ‘hatanger’) is aimed at harming the other party.
In that sense, while the ‘lovanger’ has a positive shade, ‘hatanger’ has a negative connotation. While the first builds up positivity and friendship, the later leads to greater enmity and killings.
And, while the first is a spring of love and happiness, the second leads to revenge and destructive approaches. No wonder, we have it from that great satirist, Jonathan Swift, that nice men are full of nasty ideas.
And these nasty ideas are expression of anger but with good motivation and love as the driving force.
I love to say only those who are careless can be ‘anger-less’. That is to say, anger is an extreme form of manifestation of love, care and concern.
So, beware of those who show no signs of anger even when faced with the worst of provocation.
Having said all this, let’s describe the essence of anger in PB Shelley’s words, “Sometimes the devil is a gentleman.” Of course, this is only to make a point; otherwise who cares for devils, they are best reviled!