Are you obsessed with his ex?
New Delhi, November 10, 2012
First Published: 20:47 IST(10/11/2012)
Last Updated: 01:53 IST(11/11/2012)
Newly-married, Ashish dreads getting cozy with his wife Taru. Not because they don’t get along, but because Taru is obsessed with Asish’s ex-girlfriend.
Couple fights in the bedroom.
“We always end up fighting, as she forces me to remember her when I really don’t want to,” says Ashish. So, does Taru doubt that he still loves her? “No, I don’t think so. I just feel extremely jealous that he was so much into her,” rues Taru.
Psychologists say that it’s a common syndrome among many, especially women.
“The thought that ‘their man’ was earlier someone else’s makes them extremely jealous, and jealousy leads to curiosity,” says psychologist Niranjan Reddy. Banker couple Nidhi and Shantanu is another such case.
“I had mentioned to Nidhi about my physical relations with my ex. Ever since we got married, Nidhi kept on asking me all possible uncomfortable questions. She was simply obsessed about what we did. We had to seek professional help to sort the issue,” says Shantanu. Relationship therapist Praney Anand says that this happens because humans are competitive by nature. “Feelings of insecurity and lack of understanding of one’s own role as a partner lead to such situations. Women compare themselves with their spouse’s ex-lovers, wondering if they are any less or more important to their spouse. Patience and empathic understanding are required to deal with such obsession,” he says.
* Some names have been changed to protect identities