HindustanTimes Thu,23 Oct 2014

Manas Chakravarty

On life support now, but the patient may wake up

Mr. Congress been suffering from chronic dynasty-itis, acute kowtowing and high corruption-pressure for a long time. Recently he also suffered from driving-the-economy-down-the-tube-itis and inflationosis, writes Manas Chakravarthy satirically.

An Orwellian dilemma in the Maharashtra polls

It’s a tough decision. Earlier, we in Maharashtra were faced with clear alternatives, writes Manas Chakravarty.

Fish fry, parathas, rolls, all food for the gods

The most important part of the Puja is the ancient ritual known as pandal-hopping. In fact, calling those glorious edifices built to resemble temples or Facebook pages or spaceships mere pandals borders on blasphemy.

Buffaloes should lead the ‘Make in India’ charge

Buffaloes can expect no justice from you, for your society is rabidly racist. It is simply animal apartheid, writes Manas Chakravarty.

Hee-Haw works heroically for our foreign policy

The prime minister’s pro-active foreign policy is taking a tremendous toll on foreign ministry mandarins, said a chap smoking something interesting outside South Block, who claimed he was a big shot there. I couldn’t disbelieve him, as he was wearing a Nehru jacket. This is his story:

The night Mr Menon gave his jacket to save money

Et tu, Kerala? Who would have thought that Malayalis, of all people, would ban booze. It’s terrible, of course, but it does give me an excuse to tell the story of Mr Menon, my favourite Malayali tippler.

Let the dear man provide us bread and circuses

Practically everybody has been airing his views on our new prime minister’s first 100 days in office. I, on the contrary, think it churlish to expect the prime minister to do things in a mere 100 days. Manas Chakravarty writes.

Heavenly idlis cannot sustain a love jihadi

It's really tough being a love jihadi. If you're considering it as a career option, I would strongly advise you against it, writes Manas Chakravarty.

When 'ness' is more in the battle of the suffixes

Folks have been spending sleepless nights wondering what exactly Hindutva was and it’s now been clarified, by guys who know about these things, that it’s Hindu-ness.

Facing each challenge with an open mouth

After the academic discussion about Bengal’s decline last week, readers have been clamouring to know what other terrible secrets lie within the pages of the National Sample Survey’s report on ‘Household Consumption of Various Goods and Services in India, 2011-12’.

If bengalis can’t have fish, let them eat potatoes

What is the first thing that comes to mind when we think of Bengalis? That we are a race of proud and prodigious fish-eaters. Alas, no longer, writes Manas Chakravarty.

A model paper in elementary jingoism

 I would like to cash in on this trend and outline here a model question paper in elementary jingoism writes Manas Chakravarty.

A plot to deny us our chicken tikka masala

Loony leftists have dominated the study of Indian history, blighting the lives of an entire generation.

Landless farmers can farm landless farms

Total sanitation is not just a toilet in every home, but also soap and toilet paper. In a masterstroke, the move dovetails into the increase in the free baggage allowance, allowing travellers to get even more soaps into the country, writes Manas Chakravarty.

Cheques and balances by star economists

Why should footballers and politicians and film stars hog the news on TV? With budget week ahead, this is the right time for economists to become celebrities and get into the limelight. Manas Chakravarty imagines what a typical broadcast should be like.
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