Arnab Kumar Chaudhary

Remember The Beatles singing about the Lonely Hearts Club? They called it the Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club, but methinks the Armed Forces Lonely Hearts Club is nearer the truth.

Where does Saagar Choudhry manage to net so many gorgeous women? Average-looking, and whizzing through town on a battered old scooter which looked as if it had been handed down through generations, Saagar blames his compassion and patriotism for his success with the ladies.

"I'm doing my bit for the country," says Saagar, "If our brave soldiers are so busy defending our motherland from the enemy, the least I can do for them is ensure that their womenfolk do not feel the pressure so much."

"Madhu was so lonely when I met her, just four months married when her navy husband was called away on duty. Her sad eyes spoke volumes of what she used to feel about sleeping every night on wet pillows," Saagar reminisces. Well it was no wonder that she got drawn to the man who seemed to have made a career out of listening to the woes of all and sundry, as long as it wore a skirt. Or a sari, for that matter!

"You don't need to spend money to get women," declares Ranjan, "All you gotta do is pretend to listen to these love-sick creatures." He should know, having been reaping the fruits of his listening skills with Devi for the past six months, while her husband Major Jeet pays for their fun and games in freezing Kargil.

"That besotted woman spends all her money on me, taking me to expensive restaurants and buying me these great clothes," Ranjan's pride is palpable, "She's desperately trying to ensure that at least I do not desert her the way she thinks her husband did."

"Attention is the greatest aphrodisiac for a woman…especially if she is lonely," says Arnie. He's another of those who are doing their bit for the morale of the armed forces womenfolk. He was dating Sanjana, daughter of an Army colonel, when he met her roommate Kalpna. Kalpna's fiancée was an Army captain, away on a no-womenfolk posting.

"The poor girl used to mope around in the hostel while Sanju and I were having a whale of a time. We felt sorry for her and asked her to join us in one our rave parties," recounts Arnie, "We all got a bit too stoned there, and returning home, landed up in the same bed." An instant break-up with his lady love followed the night of passion, but Arnie is not one to repent. Especially after he enjoyed "the greatest three hours of my life"!