HindustanTimes Sun,21 Sep 2014

A queer subject for even a shrink

DC Sharma   November 26, 2012
First Published: 10:16 IST(26/11/2012) | Last Updated: 10:21 IST(26/11/2012)

Gone are the days when psychologists had it easy. Today's problems are queer.


Recently, I had a strange case to deal with. The mother of a bride wanted her incorrigible son-in-law mended. He didn't care for her daughter. He was Mama's boy.

She wanted me to counsel him to accept her daughter's lollypop and be her true man. I declined to interfere in the private matters of newly-weds but she was adamant. She got certain people of influence to ring me up and even approach me in person.

The more I tried to convince her, the more the pressure mounted. I was about to ask her to consult some other counsellor but thought it could ruin my reputation. I sat on my prestige and applied my brain.

I discovered that mother's love for child is unconditional. She will sleep on a wet sheet but put her child in a safe, dry, and warm bed. In erotic love, two people who are separate become one but in motherly love, the two who were one become separate.

A ray of hope sparkled. It's a mother's duty to tolerate her son's separation so that he grows into an independent individual. Now how to bell the cat? It was a task for a warrior to ask the mother to do the unselfish duty of sacrificing her love for the betterment of her child. It's where most mothers flunk. In keeping their Mama's boys, they lose the charm of being mothers in a true sense.

Mother's job is not only to feed her infant but also to instil in him the understanding of love. Mother's milk is the symbol of the first aspect of love, the first lesson in affection. But when mothers give children only milk but no love or affection, like a recent incident in which a woman beat her child to death, the children, if they survive, grow up to become notorious criminals.

The case took a turn. I could convince the boy's Mama that she was a wonderful mother who had brought up her son like a prince. When I advised her to give him honey also, besides milk, her ego was soothed.

Before I could say anything more, she herself spelled it out. "Foolish are the mothers who treat their mature sons also as Mama's boys. I will ask my son to relish his bride's lollypop… but he must love his mother also."

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