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HindustanTimes Fri,18 Apr 2014

Dream start to 2013

Madan Gupta Spatu, Hindustan Times   January 03, 2013
First Published: 10:35 IST(3/1/2013) | Last Updated: 11:02 IST(3/1/2013)

My mobile phone was flooded with the New Year SMSes. The messages read, "Sir, wish the policeman does not demand money when you are riding without a helmet or a seat belt; people may not gift you the sweets prepared with synthetic milk, the petrol price increases only when you have just got the tank full, the vendors sell you only organic vegetables; the delivery man of the gas agency does not frown after the sixth cylinder. No one disturbs you for medical insurance, new financial schemes and home loans through irritating promotional calls. And there were no power cuts or low water pressure in your locality."

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Neither Sonia nor Manmohan were to be seen on any TV channel. The idiot box was more positive in news and views. The print media also carried no photographs of the people who make news. Even no follow-up of scams, no candlelight marches or protests, no political assurances, no lewd remarks, no molestation, no eve teasing, no dharna, and no photographs of cops with thieves were to be seen in any column. No full-page ads of vehicles or property. There were reports of only bravery, human interest and social activities.

The traffic on the roads was manage-able, no religious 'shobha yatras' were in sight. The traffic cops were without a challan book. Trains and flights were normal despite the dense fog. The entire bank staff was on their seats at 9.55am. The cashier offered me new currency notes without a request. No clerk was playing games on the official computer.

I was overwhelmed by such an unprecedented dawn of the year, and visited the police station to know the status of my stolen car. The officer offered me sweets and said that the car along with the thief was recovered last night and all the five tyres and alloy wheels were in tact. I thought either something had gone wrong somewhere or I was not feeling well.

I was reminded of the Mayan calendar that had predicted the end of the world and the starting of a new era on December 21, 2012. I thanked God for how quickly the good things had come into effect in our country.

Suddenly someone jolted me and there was a shout, "Will I go to office today in your place? It is already 9am. I had asked you not to exceed three pegs and remain glued to the TV on the eve of the New Year, but you did not pay heed. It is the first day of the year. If you are late today, you will be late throughout the year. Hurry up, get ready, here is a list of the grocery items you are to bring today without using the car as a New Year resolution."

I cursed God for not implementing the Mayan calendar.

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