God help the mama's boy | punjab | Hindustan Times
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God help the mama's boy

punjab Updated: Dec 17, 2012 10:50 IST
Dr AS Nagpal

There are many advantages of being been a man in male-dominated society but, sometimes, even the guy in us thinks he would have been better off as a woman.

In childhood and adolescence, boys get the best of focus and care from mothers but enter the life partner and the man is torn between two opposite kinds of love.

Almost all girlfriends and wives complain that their men are mama's boys. A daughter is a daughter for the entire life but a son is a son only until he gets a wife, goes the adage.

Mother often accuses the daughter-in-law of snatching her son. She cannot adjust to the fact that the son, who was so obedient till the other day that he never took a step before asking her, now confides more in his wife. She smells all the attachment evaporating, and imagines her future burning dark.

In this entire melee, has anyone given a thought about the poor son? On the one hand, the poor chap is tied to his mother's love and affection, grateful for the times when she saved him from terrible situations; and on the other hand, love binds him to the woman with whom he'll spend the rest of his life, and from whom he will get love, devotion and whole-hearted support. It becomes difficult for him to balance his emotions.

In a conflict between mother and wife, it is he who is caught in a dilemma. He cannot take sides, and yet ends up in the bad books of both. In the old, big joint families, mothers had more sons to look after than just their own. Whenever a son got married and moved out, it was considered natural. When more and more joint families became nuclear and the married sons decided to go separate, it now was construed an act of defiance.

Mama's boy now has to think more outside the box to juggle the mother-and-wife relationships, or he is likely to become what's included in a Hindi proverb and what translates into English as "the washer man's dog" (now, you don't want to be one, and you don't want to read what happens to it). God help all mama's pets, sorry, boys.

The writer can be reached at gadssldh@gmail.com