Wedded to Mr Smartphone | punjab | Hindustan Times
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Wedded to Mr Smartphone

punjab Updated: Jun 13, 2013 09:20 IST
Ankur Malhotra
Ankur Malhotra
Hindustan Times
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Glitzy gadgets, curvy phones, beautiful pads, smart 3D TVs, internet-enabled watches and most recently Google glasses have left most of us awestruck. Most of our conversations revolve around discussing latest apps, operating systems, new features in Smartphones and surely our Facebook and Twitter updates.

That reminds me of a Facebook post on my wall recently that read, "Men should be honest and sincere, smart to phone bhi hote hain." The statement, directed at all male chauvinists, rung a bell. I began to wonder how modern times have created a new competitor, Mr Smartphone, for the male members of the species.

With these thoughts in my mind I dozed off. In my dream, sorry nightmare, I was on my knees begging my fiancée not to walk out of our relationship just a day before our wedding. But she had made up her mind. She was going to marry her newfound love, Mr Smartphone. I was shocked. "But why?" was all I could squeak.

Jealous, I started mentally dismembering her new phone and even imagined bulldozing it into nano pieces and dumping them in the depths of Sukhna Lake. Bizarre as it may sound new phones being launched in the market even carry the tagline of being a "companion for life".

My fiancée was calm and composed as if possessed by machines and bereft of emotions. She said, "My Mr Smartphone has got everything a girl desires. It's smart and has no commitment or relationship issues, which means I get to enjoy total freedom. It will always be under my thumb and obey my commands. It will fill my ears with music on long walks and journeys. It will keep me connected to relatives and friends 24x7 and it will make me laugh with its plethora of funny videos and countless jokes."

She added in the same tone, "If I marry you, what will I get? A grumpy, slouchy, beer-guzzling, couch potato who will invade my privacy and hinder my interaction with my beloved parents and friends. Surely, you will become old, bald and fat with age. I am not willing to jump into this relationship. At least I can change Mr Smartphone every two years with zero emotional atyachar."

I smirked in my dream, wiped off the beads of sweat on my forehead and prepared to join the argument. I said: "Your Mr Smartphone can't bring you flowers and chocolates to make your day special. It cannot give you a shoulder to lean on nor can it take you out on a long drive. Can it hold your hands when you need love and support? Will it be able to pamper you in the winter of your life? I come with lifetime commitment, which is the hardest thing to come by in this world. You'll miss me the most in the sunset years when all your virtual friends will desert you and you would be left alone in gizmo land. So think about it again? Mine is a limited period offer, dear. Take my hand and I promise you won't regret your decision."

She stood there transfixed. Suddenly, I was jolted out of my dream by the beep of my, you guessed it right, new adversary, Mr Smartphone!