Are you a sapiosexual? That’s the term bouncing around the sphere of social media
Sapiosexual, the newest sexual orientation that many are now identifying with, has become a hot topic of debate. Is it a real thing or just a fad that will fade? We ask youngsters and psychologists.sex and relationships Updated: Jun 07, 2017 11:39 IST
Finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing, aka being sapiosexual, is the Internet’s most popular identifier at the moment. The term may not be newly coined, but social media have caught on, and now it is everywhere.
According to The New York Times: “In 2014, ‘sapiosexual’ became one of an expanded list of sexual orientations and identities daters could choose on OkCupid, the online dating app.”
Every time you swipe left or right on Tinder, read a bio on Twitter or even search for the term on Facebook, you’d find the word ‘sapiosexual’ or graphics associated with it plastered on every wall.
‘Sapiosexual’ seems to have become the ‘it’ word on dating apps specifically — most people use ‘sapiosexual’ to describe themselves in their brief bios (though ‘pluviophile’, ‘bibliophile’ and other big words make it to the list, too) — so much so that there’s even an app now called Sapio, designed for intelligent dating. However, the new type of sexuality has its critics: many people think that this is a fad, one that’s pretentious and discriminatory at the same time.
While some youngsters proudly call themselves sapiosexuals and find nothing wrong with the term, there’s a large number that’s less than impressed with this word and whatever it signifies.
SAPIOSEXUAL AND PROUD
“I’m a sapiosexual. So what if I actually find intelligence sexually attractive? There is a lot of muck that surrounds dating these days, and most of them are just limited to sexual interaction. I know most people feel that using this word is a sign of being fake, but I embrace it anyway,” says Shruti Sachdeva, a student.
DO THEY EVEN KNOW THE MEANING?
Sahil Chugh, another student, feels that this word, especially in India, is used without most people even knowing what it really means. “I’ve been on Tinder for about three years now, and this word doesn’t leave me. Most people are sapiosexuals searching for fellow sapiosexuals, and when you talk to them, they can’t have a proper conversation, let alone an intelligent one. Ab toh log yeh bhi likhne lag gaye hai apni profile mein: ‘Sapiosexuals, stay away,’” he says.
JUST THE NEW ‘COOL’ THING
Rahul Singh, a student, says that it is just one of the new “cool things” and will eventually just fade away. “Just the way fidget spinners and dabbing have become the cool things to do, being a sapiosexual is a similar trend. People will all become sapiosexuals for a while, and eventually when they realise that it isn’t working anymore, they will drop the trend. Sab sapiosexual kab tak bane rahengey? I also feel that it has become an excuse for many who’re tired of competing in the area of appearance, and now need merit to prove their worth,” he laughs.
Delhi-based psychologist Pulkit Sharma agrees that the term ‘sapiosexual’ is more of a statement than an actual thing. “Attraction and connections have always been about a mix of traits that get two people together. Intelligence alone cannot be responsible for this. Being a sapiosexual is basically just a statement that you give a little more preference to intelligence as a trait, but that doesn’t limit attraction to just that trait,” he says.
Some experts do feel that it’s an actual phenomenon. “It isn’t just a term and is an actual condition for some,” says psychiatrist Manish Jain. “I had a case earlier, a person who couldn’t be described as very attractive physically, and he didn’t wish for a serious relationship. But what he really did enjoy was logging onto chat rooms and forums and exchanging intelligent conversations. While he eventually saw this as an addiction and came [to me] for help, it was intellectual interactions or exchange of knowledge that really excited him.”
Here is what social media have to say about sapiosexuals
I hate them. I hate ppl who identify as sapiosexual my God they're annoying 😂— DarkSkintDostoyevsky (@daniecal) June 3, 2017
Identifying as a sapiosexual is a great way to tell everyone on your dating app that you're completely insufferable https://t.co/wTKth7rgdm— Dylan Matthews (@dylanmatt) June 2, 2017
a sapiosexual is someone who will eat the plums out of your icebox and then make you read a poem about it instead of paying you back— mike (@dammitbabies) June 5, 2017
Can't take anybody that "identifies" as sapiosexual seriously.— Olori • Lade Tawak (@deaduramilade) May 28, 2017
I never talk to people who write Wanderlust, Sapiosexual or Love laugh Live in their bios— mancy saxena (@iammancy) May 27, 2017
What do you think about this term? Do you identify with it or feel its a fad? Tell us in the comments below.
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