Birthday girl Hard Kaur talks about dating, marriage and everything in between | sex and relationships | Hindustan Times
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Birthday girl Hard Kaur talks about dating, marriage and everything in between

The rap queen who turns 38 today tells us how men mess up hilariously while flirting on WhatsApp, the ‘hook up’ generation and the booty obsession we have.

sex and relationships Updated: Jul 29, 2017 08:12 IST
Kabir Singh Bhandari
Hard Kaur’s new album releases on August 2 and is titled
Hard Kaur’s new album releases on August 2 and is titled

Taran Kaur Dhillon, better known as Hard Kaur, shall be releasing her next album titled The Rising - Mixtape Vol 1 on August 2. In it, she has collaborated with 30 artists who are all from different genres such as Hip-Hop, Bollywood and classical music.

The British Indian rapper and hip hop singer opened up to us about why she feels she’s never going to get married, why some men can be jerks and how Indian society assumes too much without knowing the truth.

Don’t your mom and relatives tell you that time is running out for you and you need to get married?

They’ve given up. My mom used to say to me: “Main sabke rishtein karwa sakti hu sirf tera nahi karwa sakti. What would I say? My daughter is that Hard Kaur who comes on TV?”

I had warned my mom long time ago that I was born to do other big things. I’ve sacrificed my whole life for music. Teen saal ho gaye I haven’t had sex, because I work all the time. People look at having sex with people as adding another feather on their hat. I can’t do that. I prefer cuddles to sex. But the sex still better be good!

Today’s generation is different, but I am an old school romantic. I am the best cleaner and cooker, I can be the best bahu ever! Before I left for India, 9 years ago, my ex boyfriend said to me and my mum, “I love her a lot but I can’t marry her because she’s Hard Kaur.”

My mum said, “But she’s also just a girl.” But they don’t get that. They’re more worried about what people in the society will say. But what I feel is if you’re not paying my bills, you can’t really say anything to me.

Also, I swear a lot, but people who swear the most are also the most clean hearted ones. Society, however, will only pay attention to the abusive words used in our songs, and not what all else we are trying to say. They’ll say, “Beta samajh nahi aaya apne kya bola.”

Why? I didn’t know how to speak in English, but I learnt. So should you! Try to understand what I am rapping about.

I know this is a sort of cliche question, but what are the essential ingredients that should be present in your man?

He’s got to make me laugh. Sense of humour comes first. Second is respect and understanding. Third, I don’t care what you look like; it’s your personality that counts. How you talk to your parents and others means a lot to me. A woman just wants a man who loves her, and gives her cuddles and when you’re having a b****fit during your periods, he says, “It’s ok baby, mere ko pata hai tere periods chal rahe hai!”

Hard ji bursts into laughter and I join in.

I mean I don’t want your money. Like the rappers who say Aaja tujko star banadu, apni gaadi mein baitha du. I’m already a star, and I don’t need your car. But at the same time we can’t just blame it all on the men. Even the girls are at fault. Some of them tell me it’s ok to receive expensive gifts from one man, and they also have another boyfriend. So they’ll take gifts from someone 30 years older to them and are happy that way.

I think it’s all about the laziness. We as Indians love taking shortcuts. When you copy the booty shaking from the West in your rap videos, why don’t you also pick up the good stuff? Like their system- no taking shortcuts. Like calling back and emailing on time. But all they see is booty booty booty.

What’s the dating scene in your life like currently?

Well most guys mess it up by saying stupid stuff. We haven’t done anything till then, not even held hands. We’ll be talking on WhatsApp, flirting, and then the guy would say something like, “You know I’m really good in bed.”

That’s when he gets blocked.

That’s Hard Kaur for you. Just like dictionary.com defines ‘hard’ as being solid, firm and unyielding to pressure.

Follow @htlifeandstyle for more