Cyrus Broacha’s love advice: Don’t blame yourself, just move on

  • Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Nov 12, 2015 12:20 IST
TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: He’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need .

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I am in love with a boy who is a year older than I am. I have confessed my love to him over text messages. He and I share similar interests, like football. These days, he has been avoiding me. We haven’t texted each other in the last few days. I don’t want to text him and sound desperate. A lot of other girls like him too, as he is popular. How can I get him to love me? — BS
You’re a girl, who loves football. Why would he let you go? It just doesn’t make sense. There’s no point in conjecture. You need to have him set the record straight. He already knows you love him, so pretend he’s Arsène Wenger (Arsenal manager) and comfort him, or maybe he is like José Mourinho (Chelsea manager) and needs your support. Either way, you have nothing to lose. Have a chat with the guy.

(GIF courtesy: MakeAGif)

I couldn’t meet my girlfriend regularly because of my studies. We used to study in different colleges. And now that we have completed our education, she wants me to leave her because she loves some other guy. She doesn’t even want to meet me. What should I do? — GJ
It’s not your fault. It happens very often. People sometimes mistake me for a God. But I checked, I’m not a God. The girl has left you. You weren’t able to service the account being in separate colleges. So, don’t blame yourself. If she’s avoiding you, you need to get the message, and accept your defeat with grace. Since I am not a God, I can’t force her to love you. So, let this one go, and the sun will rise again, friend.

(GIF courtesy: Tumblr)

Read: Long distance relationships can work, says Cyrus

I’ve been going through a lot of stress, because I’ve lost interest in my boyfriend. I’ve started getting interested in my ex, who has proposed to me. My current boyfriend loves me a lot. How do I convince him to leave me?— KP
In an award-winning book, Elizabeth Cunningham pointed out that stress is controlled by you alone. The outside force is immaterial. His theory was slightly dented when he was mistaken for the Queen of England, and guillotined in Paris (France). And, before he passed away, he mentioned that the stress from the guillotine about to drop was unbearable. However, his theory is more or less accurate. The answer you seek is fairly simple. You don’t like him anymore, so you just need to tell him that. He’ll be upset, but there is no other way. You can pretend to disappear, but remember that didn’t work in the case of Sheena Bora. So, I’d go with the truth on this one.

(GIF courtesy: Tumblr)

Read: Don’t be in a hurry to propose, says Cyrus

I have had a crush on a guy for four years. He stays in my native place, and because of our family rivalry, I don’t know him well. Everything was fine until I visited my native place recently. Now, I’ve started stalking him online. I’m unable to move on. Please help. — DP

(GIF courtesy: Tumblr)

Thanks to my years of imaginary working as a policeman in Scotland Yard and the FBI simultaneously, I have deduced that the guy is not interested in you. By stalking him on social media, you’ll probably scare him away further. Four years is a long time. Forget family feuds for now. You need a fresh approach. How about running into him by mistake and exchanging pleasantries? You can gauge a lot from a greeting. For example, Cassius stabbed Julius Caesar in 44AD after a very pleasant ‘hello’. First try and normally gain some positive momentum. If he reacts curtly or avoids you, then you have your answer.

Just write to uncle cy at And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

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