Cyrus Broacha’s love advice: Your past is irrelevant

  • Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times, Mumbai
  • Updated: Feb 22, 2016 08:29 IST
TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: He’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need .

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I’ve been chatting with a guy on Facebook and I’ve fallen in love with him. We’ve never met. I did not tell him that I was dating two guys earlier when we started chatting. He’s told me everything about him. I was feeling guilty about lying to him. So, I broke up. I still love him. Should I tell him the truth? - KS


KS, this is a very difficult question. I mean should I tell you the truth? The truth is always a very stressful game to play. The other day, my wife asked me if she had lost weight? If I told her the truth, she’d have the upper hand, and be full of herself, as clearly she has lost at least five kilos! So I told her what any right-minded husband would do in that situation. I pretended to have a fainting spell. Obviously your conscience is not letting you proceed until you spill the beans. And actually, your past is irrelevant unless you were with a terrorist organisation or at least were part of the mob that beat up students at Patiala house court complex. So maybe in your case, a little truth maybe the way to go.

Read | Cyrus Broacha’s relationship advice: Love is not an IIT entrance test

I’m a senior citizen who has just retired from the armed forces. A widow, living opposite my house, has been showing interest in me. My wife has been loyal to me for the last 43 years of my married life. I don’t want to hurt her, at the same time I do not want to disappoint this lady who looks at me all the time. What should I do? - YS
YS, according to Zoonata & Irvin after 43 years of marriage, a man earns himself a free pass at a free pass (please laugh internally at this point only). So yup, go ahead, don’t worry about the wife. No no no. YS there is no Zoonata and Irvin, I made it all up. Life isn’t that simple! If you don’t want to hurt her please stop. Can’t you just be friends with the second lady? I mean a man can’t fly two planes simultaneously, you know. Having said that, such personal desires along with their responsibility are yours and yours alone. Don’t palm them off to the squadron leaders! Would weigh the pros and cons properly, before involving air traffic control.


Read | Cyrus Broacha to the rescue: Long distance love can work, you know

I’m 15, and recently I met my best buddy after six years. I continued talking to him after that. Now, I’ve developed strong feelings for him. I’m confused. Is this the right age to fall in love? Is this love? -Meow
The German Monk who later became a famous bicycle repairman Otala Van Bwhrasck (the surname is pronounced with a rough gargling sound), wrote his masterpiece on how friendship evolves into passionate love eventually. Of course, his story was to do with his own friendship with his Dalmatian dog, Deborah. He was rightfully arrested and never heard of again. But in a general sense, his point was well made. Friendship turning into love is both common and a successful situation. Although 15 is very young, love is love. You are on a good wicket. Trust me the world needs more love, that’s for sure.


Go ahead, spread love for the world’s sake!

I’m 28, and strangely, I’ve never interacted with women. There were no girls in my class in school or college. I didn’t get any female attention either. I tried dressing well, accentuating my looks, read on women’s issues and interests, but there was no success. What do I do? -Motorhead
Ah what is it that Shakespeare’s brother from an Indian mother, Shyam Prasad had said? A bad carpenter blames market conditions and geography! Your lack of success with the ladies cannot be blamed on the environment alone. And no amount of grooming and reading will help if you don’t attempt the practicals.


It will be tough, but you can do it.

You needed to throw yourself into the mouth of the sorry lioness. You need to plunge into interactions. Only then with experience will you be able to learn, gleam and go forward on man’s most noble pastime. The search for female companionship stops with the theory and analysis. Chat, interact, communicate even if it takes you 20 years. Some woman somewhere will ultimately respond.

Just write to uncle Cy: And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

Read | Cyrus Broacha to the rescue: Why hurt his feelings when you can lie

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