Cyrus Broacha’s love tips: Don’t be in a hurry to propose | sex and relationships | Hindustan Times
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Cyrus Broacha’s love tips: Don’t be in a hurry to propose

sex and relationships Updated: Oct 05, 2015 16:30 IST
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha is a TV anchor-theatre personality-comedian-political-satirist-columnist and author. He writes a weekly column for Hindustan Times

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I was in a long distance relationship with a guy for more than a year. I had even helped him come out of his former relationship. But then, one day, after seeing his ex, he suddenly broke up with me. He has ended all contacts with me. I am lonely and depressed. I miss him and can’t live without him. Please help.SC

See, this is why Timur could not rule over Delhi for long. Poor Timur had three same problems. Long distance relationships. Keeping in touch with Delhi from Samarkand was too tedious...And mind you, Timur had no email , SMS or even telegrams at his disposal. And the postal service kept getting eaten up by wild animals in lower Punjab. SC, control of relationship becomes less and less directly proportionate to how far is the distance. Only America and Pakistan are the slight exception to the rule. You can’t fight a battle without being in the battlelfield. Meanwhile, let me warn you that if you are travelling through lower Punjab, well the wild animals are still there.

I have been in love with a girl for a year. But I contacted her for the first time only four months back. I have never met her. After getting to know about me, her parents don’t let her go out. Her father has even threatened me indirectly. How do I start meeting her?Jigyashu

Jigyashu ...er may I call you Jiggs? Thank you so much, but you have not provided the most crucial piece of of information. It’s like preparing a hydrogen bomb but forgetting to put in the hydrogen. Is the girl interested in you? Does she love you? Is she crazy about you? Does she know who you are? Does she know your name? Does she even know you exist? Can she tell the difference between you and say an assortment of dried vegetables? See Jiggs, her parents know about you that’s clear. They obviously prefer dried vegetables to you. But you are in love with a girl you’ve never physically met and barely contacted once or twice. That’s the same thing as being in love with a poster. And you can probably be assured of the same results, so before you move heaven and earth to meet her, please find out - is she seriously interested in you? If she starts phoning or messaging you a lot, if she takes the initative then one can look at meeting her.

I like a girl who is too nerdy. My friends said that if I convince her that work and love go hand-in-hand, I stand a chance of winning her love. I proposed to her, and haven’t spoken to her since that day. Please give me some tips on talking to her.7or

7or, you proposed to her and then promptly stopped speaking to her again. A well thought out plan. I’d applaud you, but you wouldnt be able to hear me. Why are you guys always in a hurry to propose? Thats step 26. You’ve got many steps before that. You have to chat, to make a connection. Chat regularly, go on a date, go on many dates. It’s a proper process. You can’t just propose. You are behaving like a gorilla. A male gorilla in mating season (proposes and then mounts his mate, without ever speaking to her again.) In some cases. there is only one tip. Get to know the girl and get her to know you.

I am in love with my step cousin. Initially, we started off as friends. He also wants to spend his life with me. My parents are against our relationship. Will our society accept us? What should I do?Confused soul

Dear Soul, you ask too many questions far too quickly. It’s like a machine gun fire. However, having visited parliament twice in recent years I must tell you I can deal with people talking at 6’s and 7’s. I consulted a medical expert but his brother dated a famous homeopath once so he’ll just have to do. Step cousin is safer than dating a cousin so you may well escape health implications. That is, if this relationship was to go further and then like typical Indians result in babies. About society I can tell you it’ll be a mind reaction. But in today’s world people forget real fast.