Cyrus Broacha's relationship advice: Sometimes, just say no

  • HT Correspondent, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Aug 06, 2015 20:50 IST

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he's got all the dating advice you'll ever need from your first date to something that you can't find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

(Tumbr, Pinterest Photos)

I’m getting married in 2016. It is an arranged marriage. The girl that I am set to marry is madly in love with me. But I don’t want to marry her. However, I can’t step back now because my parents have told everybody about the wedding. What should I do?
— AJ

When King Charles of England was asked to air his views on his impending beheading, he was initially against the whole idea. He famously said, “I don’t feel execution suits me.” Yet, he was persuaded by Cromwell and Sons (a prominent law firm that was actually the ‘in’ thing), and so he agreed to the idea. This resulted in him losing his head, which itself was a serious hindrance to his everyday life. I say, don’t be Charles. You don’t love her. You don’t want this marriage. Be firm. Stand your ground. Don’t lose your head. Not to mention, don’t destroy two families. Give them Charles’s example. Just say no.

I was friends with a boy for four years. We shared a strong bond. But suddenly, one day, he said that I have fallen in love with him, even though I hadn’t. We had an argument after that and stopped talking altogether. Now, I’m missing him. Should I talk to him or move on?
— AS

Do you love him? If you don’t, please sack him. He’s acting pricey, for no reason. You could easily get a better friend, starting with a cactus plant. But if you are missing and pining for him, then you may in fact, be in love, which is what he suspected. And a man, who’s not in love, runs away faster than Usain Bolt, as the Jamaican saying goes. He’s basically panicked, because he’s not up for it. You could try talking to him and coming clean, but the chances of him changing his mind are less than 20%. But what have you got to lose?

I like a boy in my class. He, too, likes me. On his insistence, we’ve decided not to commit and wait till we graduate. I’m head over heels in love with him though I’m not sure if he feels the same for me. Do I keep throwing myself at him at the cost of sounding needy or do I stay aloof and play it cool? I don’t know which way will push his buttons and make him edgy. Please help.
— A

According to scientists Simon and Schuster (no relation to the publishers of the same name), playing the aloof game normally has a higher rate of success. That’s how Simon met and won over Schuster. But what’s the fuss about commitment? You both like each other, hang out and connect with one another. Forget about the waiting period; you are, in fact a couple. It’s what you do, never what you plan to do.

My best friend has been dating a boy for over a year. But there is also another girl in the boy’s life. He wants to be in a relationship with my friend and the other girl. I am unable to understand what he’s thinking. What should I do?
— SM

You could mind your own business. But that’s already off the table, as you’ve written to me. So, now it’s not only their business, but also your business, and my business. If your friend is aware of the other girl, then butt out and take your business elsewhere. Err… your business now is a joint venture with me. Ifshe doesn’t know, I suggest you talk to the boy, and ask him to put his cards on the table, or you’ll be forced to make his cards your business. Give him a chance to sort it out himself. If it was me, I’d just mind my own business.

Just write to uncle cy: and I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

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