Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?
Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he's got all the dating advice you'll ever need from your first date to something that you can't find a solution to.
From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.
Mr SV, What a beautiful question! You obviously are the most attractive man in the world. That is clear from your letter. You also seem to be most innocent in spite of your dearly primal animal magnetism. If I had to bet I’d think you are a young Brad Pitt. Or is it Di Caprio? Salman? John? You loved a girl, unfortunately A, for 30 months, then you proposed to her. But you haven’t told us if she accepted, or if she said “Give me 30 months please”. Then you say you feel for guy B. Thus implying a free market economy in romance. After this bombshell, along came girl C who loves you. My take? Go for the guy B, and spare the girls. Also if you can’t decide between 3 people, then you don’t really love any of them. Now tell na, George Clooney? Mahesh Babu? Sanju? Hrithik?* I was in a relationship with a guy for three years. His family wants him to get married to a girl of their choice. They are against a love marriage. Now, he is scared as his family has told him that they will disown him if he marries me. He is not ready to listen to me. I have attempted suicide too. What should I do?GD
It was, the famous songster Janis Joplin who said, “Love U is a Moon”, Janis was trying to put into perspective how love affects different people differently. For example, you fall for a guy, you get married, your love then affects your postman. How? Well, you no longer live in your own house, so now he has the tedious job of locating your new address. Your love is his pain in the posterior! Similarly your love had affected his parents so badly that they have turned into infants, and are clearly behaving like five-year-olds. Please don’t give into blackmail, and emotional arm-twisting if you love each other. Go to the police if you need to, if they continue their threats. Love can’t be bullied if its true love. But please be kind to your postman.* I have a friend who was in a relationship with my best friend. Although, I had a serious liking for him, I didn’t interfere in their relationship as I didn’t want to intrude into their happiness. But now, he has started feeling for her again. He tells me everything. I know that he has real feelings for her. But my best friend won’t agree because of her family. I really wish to help them out. Is there any way?LGN
LGN, not since India’s greatest cinematic masterpiece, Dostana, (first version) with Shatrughan Sinha and Amitabh Bachchan, have I read or seen such an example of true sacrifice! For you to not only give away your love to your best friend, but now to guide them back together, even after you had a real opening, Wow! Take a bow! Now sit down and listen. If she’s not interested for whatever reason, this is your only chance. He talks to you, confides in you, seize the moment, or be the bridesmaid. And please stop this boring scientific talk! But, do keep in mind mutual friends are subject to market risk etc. etc. etc.* I’ve been in a relationship for about five months. Suddenly, one day, he said he needed time to think about our relationship because he was missing his ex. We had made future plans. I cannot take any more heartbreaks. I love him to the core. He too loves me. Please help.Anon
Anon, Anon, Anon, Chamestee Oyewaga of the Univerity of Nairobi once wrote a book called Red Light, Green Light. For 807 pages he explained that if a light is red, it can’t be green. Why I actually read the whole book is unknown to all of modern science. Please know that he can’t love his ex and you simultaneously. And if he did he can’t play the suffering hero! Forget future plans. Give him a deadline to answer if it’s you or her — red light or green light.
Also read:Best revenge is to ignore: Funnyman Cyrus Broacha' love advice