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Diary of a newlywed man

Though falling in love and tying the knot may sound easy, adapting to the changes that follow can be unexpectedly daunting. It could feel like rebirth, entering a whole new world where you suddenly become answerable to people you’ve known only for a few months.

sex and relationships Updated: Nov 05, 2012 15:00 IST

Most men, especially the ones married for years, know very well how life changes after getting hitched. It could be for better or for worse, depending on how you adapt to the new situations. But, for a newly married guy like myself, it could feel like rebirth, entering a whole new world where you suddenly become answerable to people you’ve known only for a few months. I never expected that ‘change’ would be literally forced upon me.

Welcome to the family
The very first change that I had to cope with was waking up one morning to three different families. Sounds bizarre, which I thought initially as well, but then I realised that from now on, I had family one: my wife and myself; family two: my wife’s parents; and then, family three: my folks. And I was answerable to all of them! Imagine that happening to an independent person. I often wished that cell phones didn’t exist, so that no one could reach me.

Picture imperfect
One of the biggest lessons that I learnt was during a trip abroad, where I happened to meet a female friend. No, I didn’t cheat on my wife — that would have been suicidal. All I did was pose for some pictures, which my friend uploaded on Facebook. Immediately, there was firing from all quarters. The explanation that I got for all the rage was that I was standing too close to the girl in the pictures and, in some shots, had my arm on her shoulder. So what wrong did I do? That’s how I would always click pictures with my friends before. In the aftermath, I was made to believe that after marriage, I should maintain a distance while clicking pictures with my female friends or any girl in general. And parties objecting to my pictures included not only my wife and her family, but all my so-called open-minded female colleagues as well, who still think I cheated on my wife with that friend of mine! Ever since, I’ve completely stopped taking pictures with friends, even with guys, just to be safe. You never know what trouble you could get into.

And there’s more...
Presently, I have a queue of people providing unsolicited advice — colleagues, friends and that drunk guy on the bus — who wish to guide me on life-and-marital-death matters like posing for pictures, buying groceries and the number of times I should visit my in-laws in a week. And all this is happening to a person who would never listen to or share his life with anyone. I wonder if it’s just a phase that all newly married guys go though, If not, I’d better get used to it.

From dude to dead
Within days of my wedding, I was like a tourist in my own city, shutting between my own house, the wifey’s and my old house where I lived before marriage. Buying groceries, running errands and doing laundry were concepts unknown to me. But now these have become necessitates in my life. Earlier, I’d watch sports in my pajamas. Now, the TV trend is that my wife’s favourite shows have become my favourites too. These days I get my TV time only during her show’s commercial breaks. I often wish my favourite shows were just minutes long. That way, they would start and end during commercial breaks, and there wouldn’t be a fight for the remote control every 10 minutes.

—The writer prefers to remain anonymous fearing an onslaught of a million more questions (and body blows) from wife and co.