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Do you have an extramarital affair?

sex and relationships Updated: Feb 03, 2010 14:38 IST
Harsha Bhatnagar
Harsha Bhatnagar
Hindustan Times
Highlight Story

CoupleSeveral couples, at some point or the other, have relationships outside their marriages. Most of them are hidden and secret, that stir a gamut of emotions, and one of which is guilt. We spoke to a few people, who confessed feeling guilty, and others, who defended themselves.

Moment of truth

Businessman Shailendra Kewalramani has been married for four years, and he confesses that he shares the most blissful moments and agonies with his ladylove and not his wife. "My wife and I lack bonding. I found the completeness that I always longed for, only after I met my ladylove." Shailendra denies suffering from guilt pangs for cheating on his wife, and says, "Guilt would have been there only if I had any feelings for my wife."

Shailendra’s was an arranged marriage, but Renuka (name changed), who had a love marriage got emotionally involved with another man. Reason? No emotional bonding and her husband’s touring job that gradually drew her towards another man. "I respect my husband. He is good and I care for him, but somehow the love have vanished. We don’t quarrel over anything and are fine with whatever the other person does." Renuka shares everything with this other friend she has found. "I get all the emotional support from him," she says, who, at times, finds herself at fault for having a relationship outside her marriage.

Think rationally

Psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh says, "Spouses who tell their partners about their flings are guilty and plead transparency. People may have a reason to get into extramarital relationships, but they cannot achieve anything by revealing the truth."

Deepak Dhawan has found a good friend in his wife, but his soulmate is someone else. He says, "My wife is supportive, but there’s no sex life. I do feel guilty, but this is how things have shaped up now."