Experts explain how sex is so much better after you have a baby

  • Collin Rodrigues, Hindustan Times, Mumbai
  • Updated: Jan 07, 2016 19:06 IST

A new study that has been conducted by parenting website has found that sex gets more passionate after a couple has a child together. The researchers reached out to 1,118 couples, and 60% of those polled said that lovemaking did, indeed, become better post-delivery, and even had new vitality.

The inside story

Sexologist and relationship advisor Praney Anand says, “Every person has unique sexual functions. There are multiple reasons why people could be experiencing passionate sex post childbirth. Increased access to the Internet has made people more aware of what’s okay, and what’s not, after delivery. So, a few things that might have been considered proper or recommended 10 years ago have been proven otherwise due to the growing information about sex.”

Read: You might not believe it, but sex gets better after childbirth

Good sex could also be the result of improved communication channels between couples. Anand adds, “If the couple has been going strong during the pregnancy, they might feel an immense bond right after childbirth, leading to an increase in their sexual desires.”

Another expert, sexologist Shyam Mithiya, offers a different perspective, saying, “Seven out of 10 couples that I know have had passionate sex after childbirth. This could be because they had not been having sex for a long time. Few couples indulge in sex during pregnancy. But during the third trimester, most couples definitely don’t. The long wait makes sex more enjoyable.”

Good sex could also be the result of improved communication channels between couples. (Shutterstock)

Playing it safe

Another major reason why post-partum sex is more enjoyable is because the chances of getting pregnant again are low. “During the first six months, women have natural amenorrhoea. They don’t menstruate because they’re breastfeeding, and consequently, they don’t have to use protection while having sex. This adds to the pleasure. Plus, post childbirth, there are a lot of hormonal changes in women that lead to arousal,” adds Mithiya.

Read: Secret to a super married life found: Have a second baby!

Sexual pleasure between couples may not be confined to intercourse. A variety of activities are equally enjoyable — like cuddling, mutual masturbation and oral sex, to name a few. Anand says that if women practise Kegel exercises when they’re pregnant, the chances are that they will have better control over their pelvic and vaginal muscles, leading to better orgasms after childbirth.

Bonding factor

A third reason could be the fact that the bond between a couple tends to become stronger once they become parents. Relationship expert Vishnu Modi agrees. “In many cases, a person’s compassion for his or her partner may increase post childbirth. All this helps improve the quality of their sex lives,” he says.

Balancing act

Post childbirth, a mother’s sleep is disturbed on a daily basis. This can affect a couple’s sex life adversely. A couple may also not be able to have sex when they want to because the baby is awake and needs constant attention. So, one will have to make adjustments and go with the flow, rather than make plans that don’t work.

Read: Having a baby? Here’s why you need to chalk out a plan

It can be frustrating, but a couple has to come to terms with this. So, for example, if a husband comes home late from work, and finds out that his baby has just gone to sleep, he has to try and indulge in lovemaking at that time, as there probably won’t be a better moment than this.

— Shyam Mithiya, sexologist and relationship expert

Case study: The other side

American actor Eva Amurri Martino with her baby, Marlowe Mae. (Instagram)

In an essay published on a website in December 2015, American actor Eva Amurri Martino warned people about the challenges of post-partum sex. The Californication star, who gave birth to Marlowe Mae in August 2014, wasn’t in the mood to have sex even six weeks after childbirth. She wrote, “I felt so exhausted, emotionally raw, and my body felt like it was still majorly healing from my birth — the last thing I could think of was sex. This made me so insecure and overwhelmed that I wasn’t living up to the normal expectations of a post-partum wife — and that made me feel even less sexy (sic).”

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