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Friendship indeed

I may have caused annoyance to my friends but I've been a dependable friend too, writes Aryan Vaid.

sex and relationships Updated: Jul 31, 2008 15:23 IST
Aryan Vaid (Actor)

Last week, tragedy struck a very dear friend of mine, and his family. His mother passed away suddenly. Despite all my efforts to be with him in his hour of need, I couldn’t, because of my travelling and shooting schedules.

I felt helpless when I couldn’t make that trip to the small village in Kerala where he lives. What can I say about how I felt? I felt as if I was squirming out of my responsibilities as a friend.

Torn apart
Being torn apart like that isn’t easy. Because for me, friendship is about being together in happy times.. and sad times as well. This trying and testing time made me examine my set of values, in terms of friendship. Was I really a good friend? Or was I a fair-weather friend? Did friendship mean being convenient and doing the things that made me happy, rather than being there when I was needed most? But sometimes the pace of our lives is such that it becomes difficult to just stop.. we’ve all heard the adage, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

Fair-weather or real friend?
Honestly, something like this is open to interpretation, but over the years, I, as all of us surely have, had some amazing friends. In fact, the reason for me getting into the field of glamour is because of the constant encouragement from a dear friend. His words turned my life around.

Years ago, I was at the crossroads of my career. I’d quit my job and was trying to figure out my career plans. His words of courage and inspiration made me believe in myself. They still do. It’s generally believed that we attract all things, good and bad in our lives. At times, I feel blessed to have attracted some very loyal and encouraging friends.

True friendship thrives on trust and comfort level. So that brings me back to the question that I raised somewhere in the beginning of this piece — was I really a good friend? Or was I a fair-weather friend? I’d like to believe that I’m a great friend. But I have my shortcomings. My ability to put others before myself at times.. that is open to judgment.

True friendship
I may have caused annoyance to my friends.. and then there are times when I have been a solid dependable friend. It’s not about right or wrong, good or bad, that’s life. And then, last night I spoke to my friend who’d just lost his mother. He understood my reasons for not being there for him in his hour of need. I felt absolved of my responsibility and unburdened of my own guilt. And in that moment, I marvelled at the power of friendship, for it doesn’t need words or physical presence. This human connection was above that. True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes. I thanked god for this blessing. There can be no greater blessing than being a friend in need and discovering that you have some real friends indeed.