It may sound patronising but we are still going to go ahead and say it: There is no better way to grow up than #GrowingUpDesi. So what we had parents who believed there were only two professions in the world? So what there was an omnipresent Sharmaji, and his over-achieving son who was always better at everything we did? So what we were supposed to sing and recite in front of assorted relatives like a performing seal as our parents beamed?
A little parental approval didn't harm anybody. Or wait, did it? If you, like the rest of the world, spend more time on Twitter than you should, you would have noticed a hashtag -- #GrowingUpDesi. Indians from all over the world tweeted what it meant to grow up as a polythene-obsessed, sanskaari, electricity-deprived Indian. Not to forget Maa and her Maa-isms.
If you were Indian and living out of India while growing up, add a lot of confusion to the mix. The result is potent, sometime dysfunctional but always hilarious tweets. We bring you a selection…
Let's begin with Mummy. Indians never really severe the umbilical cord with their mothers, doctors just fool us into thinking that they did the deed. Fathers play a guest role in some of the tweets, but mostly, inke paas maa hai.
When mom showed you love, in one size fits all format…
#GrowingUpDesi Mummy jukam hai Mummy headache hai Mummy neend arahi hai, kal exam hai Mummy pet kharab hai .... Adrak wali chai banati hoon!— Lalit Gate (@LalitSChowdhary) July 15, 2015
When mom sent you for tasks and you were left asking, "But why?"
#growingupdesi no current in our home? Come on quick, check Meena aunty's home? No right? Phew. Now I can die peacefully.— Kichleeka (@NikkalKundhal) July 15, 2015
When mom showed you off and you wanted to merge with the wallpaper. We blame dad too.
*Wins consolation prize in a dance competition* "My son is an amazing dancer! Beta, dance karke dikhao uncle ko" #growingupdesi— Abhishek Vatsa (@FarziBihari) July 15, 2015
They decided what you wanted to be when you were born. 3 Idiots came too late in the day to save you.
#GrowingUpDesi Parents: What do you want to be when you grow up? Me: Actor Parents: son, it's pronounced "doctor"— Bilquis Rayeen (@BilquisRayeen) July 15, 2015
But nothing matched those moments when mom was mad, or angry, or irritated.
*putting away groceries* Me: mom where should I put this? Mom: on my head #growingupdesi— Treasure (@kanz_accidently) July 15, 2015
There were way too many of such moments *sob*.
*falls down and gets hurt* *gets beaten up by mom for getting hurt* #GrowingUpDesi— Ranjani Nagarajan (@RanjaniNRajan) July 15, 2015
That awkward moment when a sanitary pads ad came. Or worse, a kissing scene!
#GrowingUpDesi The channel gets changed when kissing or intimate scenes shown during any movie or serial.— Ruchita Shah (@ruchitashah15) July 15, 2015
You always said no to shagun while your inner Gollum said, "Come to me my precious."
#GrowingUpDesi never knowing whether or not to take the money aunties give you.— zee (@Zainabbalii) July 15, 2015
We just showed up at friends/relatives houses. To soften the blow, we did it with fruits and mithai.
Never go to someone's house empty handed. Always bring fruits! #GrowingUpDesi— That Bombay Girl (@MissTalks_a_Lot) July 15, 2015
When people in rest of the world buy a car, they drive around in it. We mummified it in plastic. We repeated the process on our sofa, dining table chairs, refrigerator et al. And we never threw away the plastic bags. We were always preparing for a plastic bag apocalypse when nary a plastic bag could be had for love or money.
#GrowingUpDesi Take grocery items out of plastic cover and put the empty plastic cover in a bigger plastic cover hanging behind the door!— That Bombay Girl (@MissTalks_a_Lot) July 15, 2015
Bollywood and cricket are only our two true loves. Oh, them and Mummy.
Dreaming of a yash raj wedding #growingupdesi— bhuvika on vacation (@ziamsdirtbag) July 15, 2015