High school is a difficult enough time without all the drama of romance. As exciting high school relationships may be, they can be confusing and frustrating as well.
Because there are definite do’s and don’ts involved, we’ve collated advice given from fellow students, parents, grandparents and relationship experts to help you out.
Here are 10 things you have to keep in mind in your high school relationship!
1 Understand the difference between love and infatuation
“The youth makes the mistake of misunderstanding infatuation for love,” A grandfather of six tells us. Relationship expert Dr. Nisha Khanna agrees and adds that “Infatuation fades with the passage of time”. At this age, not every relationship is true love; make sure you’re not too quick to say that you’re ‘in love’ with someone.
2 Take it slow
Building on the first point, don’t rush into your relationship immediately. Dr. Khanna says that people should “go slow and steady” when getting into relationships in high school. “Start with a friendship. Spend time together doing different activities, and when you’re comfortable and you’ve settled down, then think about a serious relationship.”
3 Don’t get emotionally sucked up in the relationship
An important piece of advice from Dr. Khanna warns teenagers against emotionally investing themselves too much. “Teenagers try to harm themselves because of their partners.” You have to understand that you are a person beyond just their partner, and you mustn’t let your relationship/partner’s problems affect you deeply. “Avoid making someone else your happiness.” She says.
4 Think really carefully before you get physical
You must think really carefully before you decide to get physical with anyone. Have a chat about it with your partner- they should be mature enough to voice and understand any concerns you have about this, but don’t rush into anything. As a wise grandmother told us- “You have your entire life for relationships, and this age won’t come back. There is no rush!”
5 It’s okay to say “no”
And to hear no, according to Dr. Khanna! “Accept that the other person has the right to say no. Everyone has a different perception and you can’t expect your partner to have the same thoughts as you.” Don’t be scared of expressing your concerns about anything in your relationship, and don’t be offended when your partner does the same, you need to be mature enough to handle it.
6 Commitment at this age doesn’t necessarily last
A father of two girls says that, “at this age you’re committed to being vulnerable to each other, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re committed to being married. You’re just discovering yourself at this point and learning what you want; it’s like training.” So don’t start making your wedding plans the second you think that it may be getting serious. You never know what can happen, and that’s part of life.
7 Communication and understanding is important
You might have heard the phrase, “communication is key.” In high school relationships, sometimes communicating with your partner is difficult amidst all the friends and rumours that may be going around. But you need to talk to your partner about your thoughts and understand what they think and feel as well.
8 Don’t let them pressure you into anything
“[Students] should not indulge or force their partner to engage sexual activities.” An important point raised by Shivani Misri Sadhoo. It’s easy to get pressured into doing things at this age, especially when your partner comes into question. It can be difficult, but always stand your ground. If your partner tries to pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with, then they’re not the one for you!
9 Don’t fall, rise!
The grandfather tells us, “If your relationship is good, you won’t fall in love, you will rise!” Don’t let your relationship ever be something that brings you down and stops you from growing as a person and being yourself. A mother of two corroborates with this saying “If you do fall for someone, it should be an uplifting relationship.”
10 You don’t have to be in one!
Avni Kataria, the President of the Student Council in The British School tells us that, “There is a lot of pressure on students to be in a relationship, that’s part of the deal. But you don’t have to be in one!” And we agree, it isn’t an obligation. As Shivani Misri Sadhoo says, “Students should never miss their focus from studies and career goals.” There’s more to life than dating!