In your 20s? Here's how to be a smart lover

  • Divya Makhija, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Jun 23, 2014 18:07 IST

You are young and brimming with energy, and are in love too! Nothing wrong with it, unless you know how to handle the pressure right. Because brimming with energy also means you don't know what'd work with your partner, or some cardinal truths of relationship that you always keep in mind.

Here are 5 things you must make a mental note of if you want to see your relationship nourish.

Ignore everything you learnt about chivalry from Bollywood films, especially the ones about guys always shelling out money at restaurants, pubs, theatres… everywhere! It's okay to take turns paying for things the two of you do together. Whether one pays for the dinner and the other for the movie, it doesn't matter. This is the new unwritten code of conduct in love: both of you must have an equal share in your expenses.

Be clear, and honest (obviously), with what you want from of your relationship. If you want it to be a long-term one, make sure your partner is aware of your expectations. Also, don't just pay lip service to what your partner seeks from you; act on them. However, if you are looking for nothing but a fling, a relationship that merely fulfils your sexual needs, you'd do well to honestly tell the other person know of it. This will make sure that the two of you don't have any misunderstandings later on in the relationship.

Don't nag. While nobody expects you to grow up beyond your age, it is still a very immature thing to do. It will only have an adverse effect on your relationship. What's worse, you may lose your partner's respect soon if you don't know where to stop. Calmly discuss the problems and you'll surely get some solution.

This is one aspect of a relationship that most people ignore. When you get into a relationship, don't try to change your partner's personality. Accept them as they are. Remember, that is what attracted you to them in the first place. Your efforts to make your partner come out of his/her comfort zone could be the biggest trigger for a conflict between the two of you.

Make this the backbone of your relationship. Trusting your partner becomes all the more important considering that this is the age when you are impulsive and sometimes do things without thinking. Trust your partner and give him/her some space. Never impose yourself on the other person: like keeping a tab on your loved one's cellphone, inbox, computer or emails. You may be doing all this out of being possessive, but remember, there is a only a very thin line separating it from being suffocating.

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