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Is the 'other guy' ruining your married life?

sex-and-relationships Updated: Aug 07, 2013 11:46 IST

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So you have some issues with your husband. Who doesn’t? And you find a sympathetic lis tener in your guy friend. How do you know if your guy friend is really being a friend and not waiting on the sidelines for a chance to pounce on you?

Here’s some easy-to-tell tricks that guys usually use to break up a relationship.

He becomes your confidante. That’s one of the most basic things your guy friend will do — become your confidante. He’ll try to make a place for himself in your life.

He’ll try to establish common ground and flirt a bit without directly coming on to you. Without being too obvious, he’ll steer the conversation towards problems in your relationship.

He will try to chip at cracks that are already there — get you to reveal your problems.

He’ll bring up issues like money, sex, work, housework and children.

He knows these are the issues that lead to an argument in your household. You will succumb to his antics because you have been dying to vent your frustrations for long.

He’ll subtly bring these issues to the surface to remind you of how unhappy you are. Playing devil’s advocate Once you start complaining about your relationship, he’ll come up with comments like, “Not every guy would do that, but maybe he thinks...” By doing so, he’ll push you to focus on your partner’s bad points. He’ll tell you he had no idea your guy was so bad.

This way, you will have heard nothing good about your partner and start thinking on those lines.

Make her jealous He’ll also try to make you jealous.

He’ll not be on your beck and call all the time.

Instead, he’ll come and tell you about all the women he’s dating. If he’s seeing women you don’t get along with, that will make you wonder why t he prefers to spend time with them - when he’d rather be with you. s Use her friends t In some cases, a guy friend will use your friends to achieve his goal of ‘bagging’ you. Of course, there’s always this risk that someone will fig ure out what you are up to.

So, while not all guy friends will have an ulterior motive, there may be some who do. So watch out.

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