It’s time to revise your dating lingo: From your bae benching you to your need to DTR
Have you ever been ghosted? Do you have a tendency to slow fade? If you’re wondering what in the world these terms mean, read on .sex and relationships Updated: May 10, 2017 17:27 IST
Relationships are an ever-changing concept. And nowadays, so are the terms related to them. Gone are the days when you would say you are crushing on someone, single or committed – now you could be breadcrumbing, benching, ghosting or even haunting. Confused, right? So were we. But here’s a guide to help you get a hang of the modern dating terms.
This one has been around for quite a while but for those of you who don’t know, bae is Before Anyone Else. While people use the term romantically, anyone could be your bae – your best friend, your pet, even your food (Bacon and eggs, anyone?).
Sliding into ur dm like.. pic.twitter.com/gmSaxojcN1— ahmedthanaa (@AhmedThana2) May 6, 2017
Remember all the flirty messages in your Instagram or Facebook inbox from people you don’t know? What they’re doing is called sliding. Sliding into your inbox, and, if they’re lucky enough, into your lives. Think of this as people making the best use of technology.
This one’s simple – think of them being flaky towards you. So if you have someone who makes you feel like love could blossom, but they refuse to commit, they’re breadcrumbing on you. Think of all the flirty messages never leading up to anything. Now you get it, right?
This one’s a little like sports team reserves – you get put on the ‘bench’ when there are other options available. So if you haven’t had the talk yet, about your relationship status, you could totally be benched.
DTR – DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP
You guys are hooking up, dating, or even together... but you don’t know what exactly the status is. Are you guys casual or serious? Are you exclusive or not? This is when you need to DTR – define the relationship. It may seem scary but who wants mind games and missed signals?
This is where you end contact without any heads up, texts or talks whatsoever. And you could be doing this to a friend, to a potential love, or even your bae. People usually resort to ghosting when they want to avoid giving an explanation or drama – that is not to say that it is right to do so.
This is the opposite of ghosting – it’s someone from the past coming back. They could be liking your social media posts, viewing your Snapchat or Instagram stories but will never get directly in touch with you. And this isn’t a good position to be in – cause, hello, mixed signals!
This one has been around for quite a while now, and we’re all guilty of it. When you decide you don’t want someone in your life, and you start distancing yourself slowly, it’s called slow fading. This could be delayed replies to your texts, gentle refusals to go out on dates, and far and fewer phone calls. While the slow fader think they’re being considerate and gentle, this is never easy on the one who is being given the fading treatment.
Think of this like a monkey swinging from one branch to another without stopping. Those who jump from one relationship to another without giving any breaks in between are said to be monkeying. It could be a rebound situation, a broken heart, commitment issues or even the fear of being lonely that could lead a person to indulge in some back-to-back relationships.