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Love guru

Collin Rodrigues has a good time dishing out advice to his friends.

sex and relationships Updated: Feb 17, 2009 12:20 IST
Collin Rodrigues

I’ve always tried to stay away from relationships. It’s tough to handle its side effects. It’s devastating. I’ve seen friends going through break-ups. But I cannot force my views on them. So I end up being their agony uncle, more often than not. They have nicknamed me ‘love guru’.

Nicholas is one of my close friends. He lives in Goa and was in love with Salomi even during his school days. She was madly in love with him and wanted to marry him. But he was only interested in a bit of fun. The three of us hung out together quite often every time I went to Goa.

Throwing tantrums
They argued all the time while I tried desperately to play peacemaker. Once, there was a major scene at a restaurant because Nicholas looked at an attractive European girl. Salomi was angry and threw a tantrum.

I was busy pacifying her. Everyone in the restaurant was witnessing the scene, quite amused. I was embarrassed because it appeared as if Salomi was my girlfriend. Nicholas seemed unfazed as if it was a
routine affair. He guzzled his drink and called for another one while I couldn’t even finish mine.

The story didn’t end when I returned to Mumbai. Nicholas would call to tell me about the new nuances in their affair. I could only listen and hope for curtains to be drawn on this one. That happened eventually when he met someone else.

Free advice
Then there’s Kapil, who lives in my
building. He has the habit of staying glued to his girlfriend on the phone. Three pm or
3 am, I always find him in the corner of his balcony, which is exactly opposite mine. I laugh and wave out to him.
His problem is he loves two girls,

Darshana and Shruti, and is going around with both. Obviously, one doesn’t know about the other. When the two of us go to a pub, he only talks about his two ladyloves.

He always foots the bills.
Initially, I would feel bad till it struck me one day that this was a cheap proposition for him, considering the free advice he got from me. I only have a soft drink because I’m off drinks now.

New meaning
Now, my close friend Jennifer is going through a break-up. She was going around with Sanjay for two years. They were supposed to get engaged in December and marry in February. But the cracks started developing in their relationship in November.

A few days ago, they broke up because his parents didn’t approve of her. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to be loyal to his parents or her.

She was heartbroken. I’ve been her support system through all this. Now here’s the fun bit. Every time we talk, I enquire if she has spoken to Sanjay. The answer is always in the affirmative.

Then she elaborates that they spoke in the morning, afternoon, evening and even at night. After all that, she adds, “Collin, finally it’s over.” So what’s this break-up all about? I wonder. Or has the term ‘break-up’ attained a new meaning?