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Love your girl? Know where to draw the line

You thought you are a very caring boyfriend? You thought being nice to her will earn you brownie points? Wrong! For all you know, it could possibly be driving her crazy. We give you four things you must never do to surprise her.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 18, 2014 19:04 IST

You thought you are a very caring boyfriend, and always took care of your girl's needs. Being nice to her, you were told, will earn you brownie points.

Wrong! Having your heart at the right place may not always suffice… it could possibly be driving her crazy. Buying her jewellery to surprise her, however romantic, may not help you hit the jackpot. Grabbing hold of her for a quickie, though sensuous, need not always make her horny and want more of you.

Decoding your girl's mind is not rocket-science. It is tricky, yes, but not completely impossible. The key is in reading her mind, knowing her inside out, and then making your move. Still there are a few things you must never do to surprise her. Here are four of them. Can think of more? Share them with us.

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1 Buying jewellery for her

Most women love jewellery. But do you have any idea of the kind of sparkles she loves… and wears? Women are very particular about the accessories they wear, and their likes or dislikes run very deep in their psyche. Avoid any such misadventures. Trouble is, if she doesn't like what you've paid for, you are only giving a chance for her to say that you don't pay attention to her. If at all you just can't fight the urge to buy her something sparkling, do your homework first. Watch out for clues for at least a week and then head to the jeweler. Does she like a heart-shaped pendant or a plain simple one? Big or small? Gold? No, silver?

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2 Trying to pamper her with gifts

A few here and there are always welcome and keeps her happy. But don't overdo it. If you take it too far, most women will consider it as an affront to their independence, and you'd come across as a control freak of the weird kind. It is not enough to convey to her that the gift is your validation of the 'forever thinking of you' syndrome. Then there is an added issue here: it would also put that extra pressure on her to reciprocate in kind! Perhaps her idea of pampering you is very different from yours and it is a potential problem area.

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3 Trying to fix her problems… always

You cannot have an answer to all her problems. Not always. Unless of course the problem in question is to get her a cable connection or fixing a flat tyre. Whenever your girl is going through a problem, don't just jump in with a solution. She is not looking for a superman. Instead, when she is down, she wants somebody to listen to her. She wants to be heard by someone close to her, and give her the assurance that she is doing the right thing. If she has broken off with her best friend, or having issues with the boss, she wants to vent. All that you need to do here is to listen to her… and agree with whatever she is saying for the time being.

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4 Checking on her

You've just dropped her at her best friend's place for the girls night out, and before you made it to your home, you have already spoken to her 10 times, asking if she is 'fine'. Don't do that. Don't either keep enquiring what time would she be wind up in the morning or if she would have breakfast with her friends. You may be caring or being affectionate, but it could be irritating her, not letting her be with her group. Too much attention can feel invasive and it could lead to bigger problems later in the relationship. Unless she asks you to, don't do any such thing.