Marriage and monotony in sex: Married women seek affairs, not divorce

  • IANS, London
  • Updated: Aug 16, 2014 18:53 IST

When it comes to cheating, middle-aged married women, unhappy with sex lives, are seeking extra-marital affairs to find that missing action.

According to a study, when middle-aged women seek extra-marital affairs, they are looking for more romantic passion which includes sex - and do not want to divorce their husbands.

"Being happy in marriage is far different than being happy in bed," said Eric Anderson, a professor of masculinity, sexuality and sport at University of Winchester in England.

During the study, Anderson focused on 100 married females between ages 35 and 45 and their conversations with potential suitors on, a popular website for those interested in having extra-marital affairs.

The researchers found that the large majority of women - 67 percent - were seeking affairs because they wanted more romantic passion, which always included sex.

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"The most surprising finding is that none of the 100 women were looking to leave their husbands," Anderson added.

Instead, they were adamant that they were not looking for a new husband.

"Many even stated their overt love for their husbands, painting them in a positive light," he added.

Women might be looking for sexual affairs because they were unhappy with their husbands or because they felt unloved by their husbands.

"Our results reflect not martial disharmony but the sexual monotony that is a social fact of the nature of long-term monogamous relationships," Anderson maintained.

The most predictable thing about a relationship is that, the longer it progresses, the quality and the frequency of sex between the couple will fade.

Also read: Share domestic chores with wife, get rewarded with sex!

"This is because we get used to and bored of the same body," he noted.

While only 47 percent of women involved in the study discussed the number of partners they were seeking, of those that did, they all wanted an affair exclusively with one man.

According to Anderson, another reason why women might seek monogamy within their infidelity is that some women need to be emotionally connected to a lover in order to have fulfilling sex.

The research is scheduled to be presented at the upcoming 109th annual meeting of the American Sociological Association.

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