People who appear bright, talented and charismatic on the surface but once they’ve won you over as a friend, drain your emotional energy have been termed as “emotional vampires” by a clinical psychologist.
Albert J. Bernstein’s new book has also given tips on how to spot four types of emotional vampire, and how to defend yourself against them, the Daily Mail reported.
Control freak vampires are always immaculately dressed and ridiculously organised. There’s no such thing as a simple decision with them – the positives and negatives of every option have to be weighed and analysed, but once the decision is made there’s no changing their mind.
They can be loyal friends – if they’ve promised you something, you can be sure they’ll deliver. Their attention to detail can be irritating, but it’s frequently something that saves time and money.
Since they’re perfectionists with a clear moral code and expect other people to behave in the same way, their disappointment is apparent if you don’t. Though they never intentionally hurt anyone, anything that threatens their sense of being in charge prompts what can be a hurtful reaction.
Paranoid vampires are quick to take offence, and with the ability to hold a grudge for an inordinate amount of time, they paranoid vampire can make a mountain out of even the smallest molehill. Things never just happen to them, in their eyes they’ve always been picked on.
While they can be suspicious of almost everything, paranoids are fiercely protective of their family and of one or two close friends. They have a penchant for saying to people’s faces what the rest of us would only say behind their backs.
Paranoids abide by concrete rules they believe everyone else should live by, too. Their eyes are peeled for any evidence of transgressions, and they’ll usually find it. They’re incapable of forgiving and forgetting and are also jaw-droppingly honest.
Party vampires are always the ones who want to drink more, stay up later and go that step further than everyone else. They’re impulsive, happy-go-lucky types who have no qualms about lying to get what they want.
They’re charming, good company and fun, say the things you think, but would never dare say, and have an aura of cool that makes you feel special if you’re picked to spend time with them.
They’re only there for the good times. You might think you’ve got plans together, but if a more exciting prospect comes along, you’ll be ditched.
Me, me, me vampires are undoubtedly very successful people, and are at great pains to make sure you know this, too.
Within minutes of meeting them, you’ll be all too aware of their achievements and probably of where they live — and knowing the right people is very important to them.
They are hard to impress and can be incredibly charismatic. Some of the most successful people in the world are me, me, me vampires.
They genuinely are talented individuals and it’s easy to admire them from afar. It’s not until we’re close up that we realise how inconsiderate they really are.
If they’re not talking about themselves, they’re probably not going to be interested in the conversation. The only way you’re of interest to them is if you can massage their ego, make them look good or help them achieve their next goal.
However, they lack genuine warmth.