The concept of dating might be relatively new in India, as compared to the west, but that doesn’t stop Indian men from having serious expectations from their first dates, or so claims a new survey.
Conducted by an Indian dating app, called Truly Madly, the study reached out to over 6,450 men from small as well as big towns, only to find out that a whopping 80% of those polled wanted women to wear red lipstick on their first date.
Another 90% said they would like the woman to make the first move. However, these aren’t the only expectations men have, reveals relationship expert Vishnu Modi. “Men do not like being flooded with too many questions, as giving out too much information can put them in an uncomfortable situation. They want women to be friendly and interested in what they’re saying. They want women to appreciate them and give them their undivided attention,” says Modi.
What women want
Women, on the other hand, have different expectations from that special first meeting, say experts. Most of them demand being treated with respect, and like being heard and spoken to. Feeling safe and cared for in the presence of the partner is paramount for them too. “Some women might want to contribute to their share of the expenses, or even pay for the entire date,” says relationship expert Praney Anand.
According to relationship advisor Mary George Varghese, women want men to be themselves on their first date. “They do not want their dates to lie or fake their identity. Lying would simply imply that he is not serious about her. She would want her date to be well-mannered and well-dressed. In the end, many women also expect a message, saying, ‘Thank you for the nice time’, post the date,” says Varghese.
The question, however, is why must people go in for a first date with so many expectations, considering it is the first meeting and neither party owes the other anything.
Anand says that the answer to this question lies in how comfortable Indians are with the concept of casual dating. In the west, expectations are limited because “the dating situation is more or less a well-known procedure”.
“There, people go on a date to get to know one another, and see if they can have a good time. If all goes well, they may go on a few more dates to see if there’s enough interest from both the sides to consider a relationship,” says Anand.
Go with the flow
However, in India, expectations exist because both parties are somewhat sceptical and conscious of the concept. Nonetheless, relationship expert Gittanjali Saxena feels that having some basic expectations is healthy.
“Be sure of the kind of people you want to go on a date with, and those who are complete no-nos. Rigid expectations might make things difficult for you, for instance, if you are not open to new ideas, new personalities or new activities,” she says, adding, “A date is simply a way to meet a new person. Keep it to that. Some dates may not go well, or you may like the other person, but that individual might not show as much interest in you. Accept that decision, and move on. Unhealthy expectations could end up making you feel defeated or rejected. If you find yourself getting upset after dates that don’t go well, remind yourself to curb your expectations, and learn to go with the flow.”
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