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Myths about dating debunked

sex-and-relationships Updated: Sep 22, 2010 18:05 IST

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If you thought batting your eyelashes at a guy could get you a date with him, forget it. Clever chat-up lines, psychological mind games and body language don’t always work at attracting the opposite sex, says an expert.

In fact, the best way to hit it off with that person is to be genuine and have fun, said social psychologist Dr Petra Boynton from University College London.

Boynton insisted that dating self-help books evaluate themselves by sales, but there’s no way to know whether they work at all based on that.


Boynton debunked common dating myths this week she invited 60 members of the public to a speed-dating event at Aston University, where they discussed the art of matchmaking.

The best icebreaker might be a simple: "Hello, how are you?"

"If you're thinking about having to present yourself in a particular way and having to manage a line it comes over as contrived," The Age quoted her as saying.

Sexpert dating "rules" debunked:

For men:

Chat up lines that you thought were clever, appear contrived and can be horribly fluffed.

"Negging" (offering a "back-handed" compliment) might make a man look confident and self-assured but it is more likely to cause the woman to "run for the hills".

There is no evidence that sitting with one's legs wide open conveys an attractive message.

For women:

Sneaking "peek-a-boo" glances at an admired individual can backfire by being overdone, and even make you look half-witted or mad.

Not calling him first, or not answering his calls, to keep him "on his toes" is bad advice. Instead, he might just walk away.

Sticking your hip out to accentuate your curves is not necessarily seen as a sign of fertility.