HT reader Nisha Sen wonders why she doesn't have a boyfriend.sex and relationships Updated: Apr 27, 2009 17:41 IST
You are lying! How can you not have a boyfriend?” I hear this line so often that I just ignore it now. But at times I wonder why I don’t have one. I’m 19, beautiful, smart and witty. I have rejected many so-called worthy suitors. I felt they were not my type. Honestly, I don’t know what qualities I want in my man.
When I cannot ignore the queries of my friends, I think of reasons to justify the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend. The latest line I use is, “I don’t believe in love.” So what if it’s not true, at least it’s convenient. Actually, I crave love. I think it would be nice to have a man who loves me a lot.
When I turned down one of the most popular guys in college, I didn’t realise that I had stepped so hard on his ego. He went around telling people that I had rejected him because I’m a lesbian.. and my best friend is my partner. All my friends laughed it off because they know I’m straight.
I was upset initially. I thought it over for a crazy moment but then realised that I would never fantasise about a woman even in my wildest dream. Yes, I am straight.
So then, what’s the problem with me? My friends tell me that I’m a perfectionist and no guy is good enough for me. At times, I feel it would be difficult for me to be in a relationship. I want a guy whom I can talk to and cry on his shoulders when I’m feeling sad. He should be there for me when I need him. But I don’t see this trait in any of the guys I know. I wonder if I’m ever going to find my guy.