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No perfect marriage

Graphologist Chandraprabha on how stress can destroy a marriage

sex and relationships Updated: Oct 03, 2009 17:27 IST

Aakash Nandi is a 30-year-old engineer, working for a multinational company. He wasn’t doing well in his career and managed to make enough money just to make ends meet. His family comprised his wife Radhika and their two kids. He used to be the star performer at work but his performance had gone down over the past six months.

Radhika and his was a love marriage. She had quit her job after the kids and is working very hard to be a perfect mother. Everything looked fine as his story went but I had my reservations.

His handwriting revealed that he was a sensitive person. It also showed that he was under pressure and quite frustrated. I wondered what was bothering him. He seemed to suffer from low self-esteem. The big loop in his letter ‘d’ showed his fear of ridicule. His signature indicated a deep-rooted issue. He wrote ‘A’ as just a single tilted line. I asked him if something was disturbing him. After a brief pause, he told me that he loved Radhika and was doing his best to make his family happy. But somewhere, he felt he couldn’t make her happy.

She didn’t approve of his friends. So he stopped meeting them. She wanted him to spend time with her instead of playing Tennis. Being an accommodating and emotional person, he complied with her wishes.

He started devoting all his free time to his family. Initially, he enjoyed this but gradually he got the feeling that his sacrifices didn’t mean anything to Radhika. He couldn’t understand what really made her happy. After almost five years, he realised that in a bid to make her happy, he had lost track of his own likes and dislikes.

Gradually, he grew aloof from his family. On the other hand, Radhika was under the illusion that she had a perfect marriage with a doting and caring husband. But she was unaware of the fact he was unhappy. I suggested a Signature Designing programme in which graphotherapy is used to transform one’s personality, enhance self-esteem and eradicate fear by repeating specific handwriting strokes.

Gradually, he worked on identifying the mental blocks every time he felt uncomfortable when he faced criticism. He learnt to use simple mind games to deal with them in a more balanced way. It was interesting to note that his marriage had improved. He’s still a caring and responsible husband but doesn’t let Radhika or anyone else take him for granted.

(As told to Prema K)