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Not ready to say ‘I do’

Are you the unmarried one among all your siblings, or the first in line whose bachelorhood is at stake? Don’t worry, learn the art of saying ‘no’, writes Chetna Joshi Bambroo.

sex and relationships Updated: Apr 22, 2009 17:46 IST
Chetna Joshi Bambroo

Are you the unmarried one among all your siblings, or the first in line whose bachelorhood is at stake? If yes, don’t worry. Here are a few tips that may help you to not only retain the right to wear a tee-shirt that says ‘100% single’, but also to give an impression to the people with the most ‘grey matter’ in your family that you are actually, and with good reason, not yet ready to say ‘I do’.

Danger zone
Living in the danger zone: (Age group: 30 and up) You are ‘actually’ sitting on a bomb. Saying ‘no’ to your momma when she comes up with a marriage proposal(with tears in her eyes) seems like a sin.

Abhinav Mehta, a banker, says, “I am 31 and dinner at my home begins and finishes on the same topic — my marriage. I don’t want to get married at the moment but telling this simple truth to my mum is not that simple.” So how does he handle the situation? “I have changed my dinner timings,” he says laughing, then adds, “After failing to convince them that I will marry after a year or so, I have lied to my parents that I have got a girlfriend in Auckland, and she will be back mid-next year and then we will marry.” Entered the danger zone: (Age group: 27 to 29) Being a member of this zone may give you an initial adrenaline rush that will only subside when your status seriously becomes the hot topic of every gathering.

Veronica, a masseuse, says, “I am 28 and already a little over age to get married, according to my parents.” How come she is single till now? “With marriage comes ‘serious’ responsibility for which I am not ready yet.” Because her parents wouldn’t have agreed with her for long, she chalked out a plan. “The outcome of my plan is that my parents will be staying abroad with my brother for six months. So, if not much I have six months to flaunt my ‘single’ status.”

Can be considered to be in the danger zone: (Age group: 23 to 26) Getting pressurised to get married at this age calls for some amount of advice, not for you but for those who think that ‘you have entered the danger zone’.

Deepmala Arora, a recent graduate, says, “I am 23, and in our community, ‘my age is a marriageable’ one. Since we have settled in the city, my parents don’t force me much.” Does that mean she has no pressure right now? “No, but they start talking about marriage when anyone from our hometown asks them about me, or when one of my cousins gets married.”

Go smooth
Deepmala has postponed the topic for a while by telling her parents clearly that she would like to take her apparel business forward. She whispers,“Even if I don’t do anything, I’m not mad to get married right now.”

Abhinav concludes that youngsters today are not averse to the idea of having the shaadi ka ladoo.. they just want to go smooth on their sweet tooth.