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Reliving marital life

sex-and-relationships Updated: Apr 24, 2008 13:04 IST
Kanchan Maslekar
Kanchan Maslekar
Hindustan Times
Highlight Story

Every night Kavita waits up for her husband but he rarely comes home before midnight. The next morning, she leaves for work before he gets up.

Prakash also has a similar story. Father to Rujul and Rujavi, he says, his wife and he only talk about their children. "If they are not around, there is hardly any conversation in the house," he says. <b1>

Many couples live like roommates. The marriages are slowly turning sexless, after 10-15 years of being together.

The couples, though aware of this ennui, are afraid of upsetting their daily routines. "We are so used to this that we don't even have arguments. The initial fights have just stopped," says Kavita Chaudhari.

Jihasa Behl feels that there isn't an ‘us' or ‘we' in her relationship any more. "It's just HE and ME, sharing a roof and doing our jobs. The functions we attend together are out of compulsion."

Fade-out
Jihasa adds that, after nine years of marriage, there is no holding-handsand-going-for-a-walk or random hugs. "We practically have a sexless relationship," she complains, adding that she is not enthusiastic to come back to share the day with her partner any more.

Marriage has taught Kavita independence - especially in making decisions. Days pass without her realising that she hasn't really interacted with her husband. Prakash Burman, married for 17 years, feels as if he is staying in a lodge where all residents meet only for dinner.

"We realise the need to reestablish a bond but our schedules don't allow us that."

Easy way out
Radhika V, a counsellor, adds that many couples come to her with this problem. One of the easiest solutions, she thinks, is to spend more time with each other.

"Even if you work long hours, keep in touch throughout the day - be it on email or telephone. That will keep you in the loop."

Love can only survive if you physically express it. Whether it's holding hands while driving to work or leaving love notes in cupboards - this can add that old spice to your marriage.