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Respecting choices

sex-and-relationships Updated: Mar 23, 2009 18:44 IST
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I’m 22 and have been friends with a girl in my office. I like her a lot and she too gives me positive vibes. She doesn’t have a boyfriend either. Last month, I asked her to be my girlfriend but she insisted that she didn’t want a relationship. We have been awkward with each other since then but yesterday she called me up at home and we had a conversation. I am distraught now — do you think this means she wants to be just my friend or is she ready to be my girlfriend?

- Sharad, Kanpur

Sharad you will have to respect her choice. I don’t think you should read too much into the fact that she called you up. Don’t pester her for a commitment. Be a friend and see where it takes you. After a while, if she still wants to be just friends, and if you find that painful, be honest about your feelings and disengage yourself from the friendship.

I’m a mother of three. I’m just 30 but motherhood has taken its toll on me. Taking care of the three children and the household has tired me out. My husband just does not want to use condoms. Instead, he has expressed a desire for another child. What should I do to convince my husband?

- Archana, Lucknow

Explain to your husband that it’s crucial for him to realise that both parents must want a child. Communicate to him that bringing up three children well is already taxing your resources. Also, your health is paramount so make sure you take care of it. Please take your husband to a doctor and he/she will explain to the two of you the various methods of contraception.