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Sexual dissatisfaction: A warning alarm that can break your marriage

As a recent survey concludes that several women in India are dissatisfied with their sex lives, some experts gave solutions and got to the root of the problem.

sex and relationships Updated: Nov 05, 2015 15:46 IST
Collin Rodrigues
30% of all marriages in India end as a result of sexual dissatisfaction, impotency and infertility.
30% of all marriages in India end as a result of sexual dissatisfaction, impotency and infertility. (Shutterstock)

In a bid to understand the importance of sex for couples in relationships in the country, an online medical portal, mediangels.com, recently conducted an in-depth survey, titled Sexual Dissatisfaction –– What It Means For Marriages In India.

The researchers questioned men and women in the age group of 20 and 65, from Tier-I and Tier-II cities, and offered some surprising conclusions. While one finding claims that 30% of all marriages in India end as a result of sexual dissatisfaction, impotency and infertility, others seem to throw light on how sexually deprived women in India are.

About 96% of the polled women said that early sex education could have been beneficial for them. As many as 72% admitted that they were dissatisfied with their sex lives. On the contrary, a whopping 98% of the male respondents said that they were happy with their sex lives.

Read: Your hubby isn’t a saint suddenly, he’s sharing chores for sex

Healthy body

Many couples do not talk to each other openly about their pleasures, fantasies and boundaries. (Shutterstock)

Sex and relationship counsellor Praney Anand urges his patients to understand the significance of one’s “sexual health”. “It has always been important for women,” he says. In a country like ours, where certain pockets of society are still not comfortable talking about sex, it has never been easy for women to share their expectations in this regard. “A lack of conversation about sex doesn’t mean the need has never existed. Many couples still do not talk to each other openly about their pleasures, fantasies and boundaries, or about each other’s sexual health. Reclaiming one’s sexuality isn’t violating any social norm,” he says, adding that it is essential for women to become more aware of their sexual needs, as only that will lead to satisfaction.

Damage control

People who aren’t able to talk to each other about their sexual needs can become hostile towards one another and people around them. (Shutterstock)

In some cases, as revealed by the earlier-mentioned survey, sexual dissatisfaction also leads to divorce. But experts feel that a man as well as a woman shouldn’t wait for matters to become that bad. To start with, one must become aware of the signs that a suffering partner may display.

“It’s hard to generalise, but at times, sexual dissatisfaction can lead to heightened levels of anxiety, low self-esteem and sense of self, body-image issues and the feeling of worthlessness,” says Anand.

He adds, “In worse cases, it can even lead to depression. People who aren’t able to talk to each other about their sexual needs can become hostile towards one another and/or people around them.”

According to Anand, there could be emotional signs as well, such as anger, resentment, unhappiness, feeling unwanted, irritability, sadness, lack of motivation, or resistance to physical touch or intimate gestures. “Some people who feel dissatisfied with their current sexual relationship may even feel like exploring sexual relations with people other than their primary partners,” he says. The research revealed that 23.6% of men and 17.6% of women polled indulged in extra-marital affairs due to a dissatisfied sex life.

Help at hand

People must not hesitate to get professional help and should go for sex therapy sessions. (Shuuterstock)

On one hand, while it is important for a partner to be sensitive towards the needs of the woman in his life, and vice-versa, several people might not necessarily find it easy to share their views on this subject. In such circumstances, experts feel that people must not hesitate to get professional help.

The very first and most important step is to understand the nature and cause of one’s sexual dissatisfaction. A trained sex therapist or relationship expert can help you explore your goals, and provide a path for you to achieve them. “I recommend sex-therapy sessions for people who are dissatisfied. One of the most important aspects that therapy can help address is the feeling of guilt around sex,” says Dr Riddhish K Maru, sexpert, Param Clinic, in Thane and Mulund.

Maru feels that it often happens that married men assume that their wives are happy with their sexual lives. At the same time, it is also important for men to address their own sexual problems.

Read:Chug a few more pints, beer makes you hotter in bed

“Many males in our country face premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, which leads to more women not being sexually happy. Men refuse to acknowledge these problems sometimes, because of the stigma attached to them. This attitude only further worsens the problem. Lack of cleanliness and alcohol and tobacco abuse, are also big turn-offs for women. These are minor, but important issues that men need to be careful about,” says Maru.