Take Cyrus’ love advice, take it! If he’s avoiding you, drop him

  • Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times, New Delhi
  • Updated: Jan 03, 2016 17:10 IST
(HT Photo)

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I’ve been talking to a guy on Facebook for a year. We have never met. I am from Delhi and he stays somewhere else. But I feel he has lied to me and he is also from Delhi. When I asked him about this he said he needs time. He also said he will meet me in 2016. Should I give him time or end this thing? SR

Firstly SR, where are your manners? You forgot to wish me a Happy New Year. Now let me wish you back, A Happy New Year to you. Old Year or New Year, Facebook continues to torment me. I’ve been saying this from the last Olympics. Please don’t rush into anything based solely on Facebook. That’s like trying a car based solely on the drawing of the car salesman’s three- year-old son named Monty. Now looks like he’s been taking my advice and isn’t taking this as seriously as you are. It’s 2016, I say give it a week or so. If he’s avoiding you, drop him. After all, you guys in Delhi have enough problems to deal with this week, what with finding out whether your car and potential boyfriend are odd or even.

Read: Long distance love can work, you know

I am a 19-year-old girl from Delhi and the man that I love is 46 and divorced. He loves me too. Should I spend the rest of my life with him considering he is so much older than me? What should I do? PK

PK, the famous mathematician Ramanujan once told me, (while both of us were enjoying a sauna in London, mind you) that if you minus two from two you get less than two. This never made sense to me, As didn’t that spa’s policy of making clothing optional! In case you invert this equation and give you a 50% discount for having to deal with Kejriwal and gang this week, we get one plus one equal two. You say you love him, and that he loves you — that’s the most important point. Age, height, weight, hairiness are all secondary to love. It’s 83% of the battle. I say having a longer engagement period and see how it goes. And please get married on a weekend. It’s highly uncivic and inconvenient to other motorists, when you marry on week days.

I’ve been in love with my classmate for the last two years. At times, I sit next to her, but I find it difficult to talk to her because I am shy. I also feel she is too good for me. I am not that good looking. How can I be friends with her so that I can tell her about the feelings that I have for her? Foolish Fever

Pass the pen, can you move a little more, can I borrow your ruler? I can see your moustache — here are 4 opening lines you can use to start talking to her. That should keep you busy from Monday to Thursday. Bunk Friday, and on Saturday I’ll send you some more lines. Mr. Foolish, please don’t talk about love straight. Do you think (Narendra) Modi and (Nawaz) Sharif go straight to the Kashmir topics? No. They first talk about sherwanis, season discounts, ‘Oh God, why did the British leave?’ etc. Learn to chat normally with her. Get her to talk back. Enjoy you and you enjoy her. Err … in a manner of speaking. Love is a long way off, and so is Kashmir.

I like a guy who also likes me. He wants to get physical with me but doesn’t want to commit because he has trust issues. I told him I can’t do this until I am sure he won’t leave me. What should I do?SM

Don’t let the boy pressure you into doing things you don’t wanna. (imgflip.com)

I’ll tell you what my father told me when my friend wanted to borrow my football. Dad said, “he’s so smelly, are you sure you want him to hold your football?” What my dad’s trying to tell you is, only get physical if that’s what you want to. If he has trusts issues, you got your rules. It’s romance, not a job with pressures.

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