I had my first relationship at 16. It was an intimate one. I couldn’t come to terms with our break-up, five months later. I didn’t realise it then but now, in hindsight, it has struck me that I got into relationships after that just to escape the pain.
Then I met the love of my life, Babu. We hit it off instantly. Soon, we drew close. I told him about my first love. It upset him for a while. Then he got over it.
I was very happy with him. We had our share of fights. He was very possessive, slightly demanding and unreasonable at times. But he was also a very loving person and pushed me to cross milestones in my career. He was my best friend.
I loved him a lot. He loved me too and called me his princess. I was convinced that he was my soul mate. Even the thought of losing him hurt. Once I told him that if something prevented us from marrying each other, I would stay single all my life with his memories.
Things changed when my exams started. He fought with me because I couldn’t meet him often. And we broke up. I tried my best to get back with him but he was adamant that he wanted to split. He gave me a stupid reason, I wasn’t a virgin. I was speechless.
I tried to reason with him but he told me that the guy I’d shared intimacy with had also walked out on me. But my love for him hasn’t changed.
My mother forced me to get engaged to another man. But I feel guilty when I have to spend time with him. I’m repulsed by his touch. I’m hoping that the engagement is called off.
It’s not as if I’m waiting for Babu to come back to me but why am I being forced to marry someone else? Why can’t I just live alone? Isn’t it unfair to marry someone you don’t love?