The way to a woman’s heart and bed

Having trouble impressing your hot date this Valentine’s Day? Here is what you should do to woo the lady and make sure that your first impression is a good and lasting one! Read on.

Having trouble impressing your hot date this Valentine’s Day? Try telling them a joke or two - scientists have suggested that a good sense of humour really is the way to win a woman’s heart.

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“A quick browse of lonely-hearts ads will confirm that women look for a good sense of humour in a potential partner. Men who can make women laugh seem to have a kind of halo effect - if you are funny, you can win anyone over,” the

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quoted Kristofor McCarty, from Northumbria University, who led the study, as saying.

Top telly stand-up comic Jeff Leach has given some advice on how to laugh your way into a ladies heart just in time.

1. “Make sure that you are self-deprecating when telling your love interest amusing personal stories. This will instill confidence in your lady that you are modest and also soften the blow when she finds out you still wet the bed.

2. A good opening line can often be a winner with the ladies and a confident man who can approach a lady with a funny remark may well find success in the arena of love. These should be verbal and not slapstick, banana skins equal law suits.

3. If you’re a dirty dog and get caught out for sleeping with her best friend simply focus on the comedy element, suggest a mEnage a trios and point out how we’ll all look back and laugh about this one day.

4. Compliment the fairer sex on just how funny THEY are, and revel in her natural comic talent. However, pointing out that she may be ‘funny looking’ does not count.

5. Upon first meeting your girlfriend’s parents, ensure you keep them in high spirits with good jokes and plenty of laughter to seal her approval. Steer clear of the story of ‘that time your daughter and I got caught getting fruity in the local park.

6. Dressing up in her lingerie as a surprise for when your missus returns from work might be amusing to you. But if she doesn’t think so it’s probably time you came clean about the funny feeling it gives you inside.”

7. A comical poem can often entrap a cutie on Valentine’s Day. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d fondle your boobies, but I think you would sue. Does the trick AND stands up in a court of law.

8. If your date turns out to be a bit of a bad choice, simply staring at the wall and laughing maniacally whilst rocking back and forth for an hour or two should suitably end proceedings.

9. Making witty observational comedy about your surroundings can really relax a lady and convince her to warm to you. For instance “well officer I always did love a woman in uniform, shame the last one was in sixth form which I suppose is how I ended up in this cell eh?

10. Remember - laughing a woman into bed and having a woman laugh at you in bed are two entirely separate things and the latter should not be celebrated.”